The Psychology of People Who “Hate People”

You’ve most likely met someone who says that they “hate people,” “don’t like people,” “think people are stupid,” or some variant of that. Humans are social creatures, so how is it possible that some people “hate” all others? Do these people really mean what they say?

A week ago I was sitting outside the Westin San Antonio on the River Walk after a conference with three engaging folks. Someone mentioned that they did not like people, and we all agreed that generally, we did not like most people. An awkward silence ensued – if none of us liked “people,” what were we doing sitting around with people? Were we not enjoying the discussion and the company? I quickly made a point to say something to the effect of, “I don’t like most people, I should say that. Because I am enjoying sitting here with you all.” Everyone agreed, and we moved on with the conversation.
This discussion got me thinking though – of the four people in the discussion, all of us were educated and worked in areas that required working with others. I teach college and interact with students, other faculty, and staff all day long, not to mention the fact that I am married (to a person) and have friends (who are people). I realized that the statement “I don’t generally like other people” means something other than what the words represent (otherwise, what am I doing?).

After years of introspection, observation, and education in psychology, I have come to a conclusion. It’s not that we (myself included in this group) don’t like most other people. Instead, people who state this have very high expectations for other people. Realistic or not, these expectations guide their interactions with others. As you can imagine, most people (the ones we don’t like) don’t measure up to these high expectations.

What is it then that we are expecting? In all honesty, we are expecting a miracle – we want others to understand us, to recognize our moods and interact with us accordingly, to know what we believe to be appropriate for certain situations (and behave accordingly), to know what we’re interested in and discuss it intelligently with us (because we are knowledgeable about it, or at least believe we are), and to think about things in the same way that we do. With all these expectations, I literally cannot understand how it is that someone with these views DOES find people that they “like.” Thinking about myself (and others) in this way, I wonder, “How the hell do I have friends? How did I get married for God’s sake?” I think the answer to this comes in the development of these expectations.

As we grow up, our personalities are influenced by both genetics and our environment. We find certain likes and dislikes, or maybe we’re taught them; either way, we have them. We interact with others, and those interactions can be positive, negative, or somewhere in between (or different for each interaction). We got off into the world and inspect others based on what we have learned is “right.” We’re told by society and our parents that we’re supposed to have friends and people that like us (and vice versa). For the group of “people haters,” it is possible that their experiences with others were more negative than positive – they started off with high hopes for others (that were learned through childhood and adolescence), but found most others soundly “lacking” in meeting their expectations. They began to form a “schema” or mental representation that others do not meet their standards. This view isn’t conscious, we’re not aware that we have high standards and that others aren’t reaching them. But we’re aware that “something’s not right.” That something translates into a view that “I cannot expect others to meet my expectations,” which could then translate into “I don’t like most people.”

So if this is the case, that people have created this view of disliking most others throughout their lifetimes, how do they have friends? How do they get married? I’ll tell you – they find each other. In my observations, most people who don’t like people have friends who…don’t like most people. My husband and I connected on this very issue. When you meet others who feel similarly, you recognize that “I don’t have faith in people” very quickly. You start talking about friends and realize that both of you have few of them. And people who “don’t like people” are typically standoffish about creating friendships. While they may have many acquaintances (who they may not really “like”), they have few friends. But typically they “mate for life,” meaning that once they have a close friend they work very hard to maintain that friendship.
The question then becomes how do they “get” friends? The answer – very carefully. “People haters” are typically standoffish at first, and weary of quick emotional connections. They are always watching others for signs that this person is “not like them.” But a “people hater” is also very astute as to what the other wants – refer back to The Miracle List. So if you want to make and keep a friend, as a “people hater,” you listen. You engage in dialogue. You remember what the other likes and do it for them/give it to them. Essentially, you demonstrate to them that you are “worthy” of friendship by being The Miracle.

So what have we learned about the person who says they “hate people?” We’ve essentially learned that they have high expectations of others, so high that their expectations are difficult to meet. They’re standoffish because yes, they are evaluating you for your worthiness. If you “pass the test,” you’ll know because they will lower their guard and may tell you about the negative experiences that they have had that have led them to where they are.

As a “people hater,” I feel that this writing has put them in a positive light, but in all honesty I believe that their expectations are so high that they cause their own pain, suffering, depression, and negativity. Most of their expectations for others cannot even be met by themselves, yet they still maintain them and evaluate others’ worthiness based on them. Is this right? The only answer to this is, “This is,” meaning that it occurs. Right or wrong, people have these experiences; they hold these expectations. They evaluate themselves and others based on these expectations. With this knowledge, you are better able to understand what you and others mean when they say, “I hate people.”

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272 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    rahkyt said,

    Salient commentary, sista liz. 🙂

  2. 2

    Wow.

    I have experienced you as intellectual and critical of intellectual things, but I have *never* experienced directly the criticism/meanness that you imply you are capable of — criticism of my person/self.

    From a psychological theory view, I point out narrative: You simply take more notice of times when you’re irritated with people — thus, you “hate” people. There’s a huge difference between irritation, dislike, and “hate” — not an emotion, BTW, that I think you’re actually capable of…

    Also, from a Satir perspective, I wonder –if this way of being doesn’t work for you aka “function” (It doesn’t seem to from the blog) — why you don’t try something different.

    Long and short of it — you’re a good person, you deserve to be loved, and I bet you touch lives all the time for the better.

    Peace,

    John

    • 3

      lizwright said,

      John:
      I appreciate your comments, but I think we’re on different wavelengths in terms of what this post was about. While I do put myself in this category, the point of the post was an attempt to describe the phenomenon and explain it (the first two goals of our work). The second two goals of psych, to predict and control or change behavior, are for the reader to do. I also think that the language that we use, that we “hate people,” really is inaccurate, and I was trying to point that out as well. I personally agree with you – hate is such a strong word, and I honestly can only think of a few things I feel that toward (typically negative social behaviors such as racism and intentional meanness). So I literally don’t “hate” anybody (you especially :D).

      This post was really a culmination of introspection I’ve been doing since I lived in Providence. I’ve recognized that I (and others) have these expectations for the future and for others that are not typically voiced, but for some reason we “expect” them to be understood. As I’ve looked at these sorts of thoughts, I’ve realized, “Hello, nobody’s a mind reader. They don’t know unless you tell them.” But therein lies the issue – people with a feeling of “hating” people expect others to know, inherently, what they want, what they expect, and what they (others) should do. They further expect others to do what they haven’t voiced. And if they don’t, the “hater’s” views of humanity are decreased.

      So that brings up the question of the fourth goal of psychology, change/control behaviors. Should I simply stop expecting anything from others, is this the way to deal with that? I would say no. I think that ceasing to expect anything from others (especially those we are close to) would create highly negative feelings bordering on depression and despair (“What’s the point?”). But the change we need to make is to recognize our high (dare I say “faulty”) expectations, and change them even by simply “toning them down a bit” (as Eddie Izzard would say). Realize that others are not mind readers. Recognize that the world will not end if, let’s say, the dishes in the sink don’t get cleaned today or even tonight. Relax our standards so that we can enjoy relationships with others more, and even enjoy ourselves more (because the self is subjected to these unreachable expectations as well).

      Does that explain more?
      -Liz

      • 4

        Marcey said,

        I got your essay–it was on the mark for me–exactly on the mark. We are not mean people. We just aren’t willing to pussyfoot with others over things that are meaningless to us. The expectation concept is it to a T. I would never intentionally hurt someone yet I see it happen at work all,the time. I would never gossip about people–I see it all the time–I would always give the shirt off my bak to someone in need if I could–even an idiot whom I don’t care for because I am a human with decency, common sense and have a sene of a unified survival for the species. If you need me, I am there. That rarely plays out in kind. I am not vengeful, but I will teach somebody a lesson and hand them back the crap they are handing me–just showing a mirror image reflecting their behavior back at them with the hope they my see their ugly behavior–this rarely happens because egos get in the way. I long since learned to drop my ego, accept my stupidity, try to right it, humble myself when I have appeared to be a hypocrite, given emotionally toothsome who need it more than I do at the moment. I hate people because they are ego-involved about so much that normal discourse isn’t even an option anymore, as just batting an idea around to look at it from angles and analyze it offends most because they get caught up,in their emotions, rather than the intellect in which I am hoping to engage. I have to add–this Christian society crap is crap. I am far better at embracing the qualities of what are supposed to be those of a Christian, and I am not Christian! I find it hard to take people seriously who call themselves Christians, and then gossip, have no humility, are vengeful, judge, are unable to have a conversation where emotions are not in control. So, for the record–I hate the behavior of many, many people. I embrace humanity as a species that I hope finds a way to flourish, but I do not hate all people, but I wouldn’t want to have dinner with the majority of them.

      • 5

        Kacey S Kindhart said,

        That was genius. I really have issues socializing because I’ve given up on people. This was a spot on article. Sharing

      • 6

        Lacost said,

        you’re such an intelligent person

    • 7

      shawnee said,

      You are why we hate people

      • 8

        Uxmalla said,

        Ha!….Ha!…HaHaHaahahahaaaaaasaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! (cough, cough) ha ha haaaaaa! HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! (Choke, cough choke) Heh.

      • 9

        Uxmalla said,

        Ditto

      • 10

        Rosella said,

        Leave a real comment, once you insult people, you become a bully do not shut down ,people’s opinions by saying nasty comments
        we are all trying to survive here, that’s all ,respect each other wether you like or hate them , what you say ,can ruin a life, don’t have destruction of another human being on your back, when we use words like I hate people it’s when we ourselves cannot connect and have given our all and can’t find a connection it’s also to hide behind the word I hate people it’s easy you don’t have to make an effort with people who annoy or bug you, make someone’s day by giving of yourself to others we will never grow or learn to give ,while we say , we hate people you will only pick people who say what you want to hear.

      • 11

        dontworryaboutit said,

        @Rosella Freedom of speech! How about you not tell people what they can and can’t do?

    • 12

      whitney said,

      You obviously have lower standards than us “People haters”

  3. 13

    Amy Costa said,

    omg i just realized i hate people and what u r describing is exactly what i could never put into words. it isn’t that i hate people, i just am not trusting and fully expect them to let me down. i can’t wait for that to happen so i can point a finger and say ” see, i told you so.” good grief introspection sucks. lol.

    • 14

      jatora said,

      pointing a finger and saying “i told you so” just means you want attention. ur obviously a stupid little kid lol

      • 15

        Lol I think you’re the stupid little kid here. You are replying to every single comment with your bullshit and think that they’ll ever give a f*ck about your worthless opinion

      • 16

        Kenya said,

        Oh sweetie you clearly weren’t able to fully comprehend his comment. It’s ok. It’s actually pretty common in the immature thought process of a child. I can’t speak for her but I very highly doubt she meant literally point her finger and say ha ha haha I told you so. More likely she meant when you already have the expectation to be let down and when she is she thinks to herself “I knew it. I knew I’d be let down. I was right.” You are clearly the stupid little kid here!

    • 17

      whitney said,

      No introspection is good for you and if you didnt feel so bad about your self youd realize “people haters” have a higher standard then the rest of the world

  4. 19

    furikake said,

    i feel a little sunshine inside my rainy mood that i covered up. it’s nice to read this article. Im lucky to come across one. like i found a comfortable corner to sit and really relax. i agreed with what you say. tho im the type that always treat others nicely and seemed v friendly and understandable i feel pain and loneliness the more effort i made to understand others. The more i make them feel warm sometimes the emptier i feel. but not always. im lucky i have met few of my close close friend that can accept and appreciate me in being what i am.

    • 20

      jatora said,

      the more you make them feel happy, the sadder you get? that is utter pseudo-introspective nonsense. if anything, you are just a depressed idiot who just needs some prozac.

      • 21

        Raquel said,

        What qualifies you to make that diagnosis? There’s no need to be so rude.

      • 22

        Kenya said,

        You clearly have issues Jatora. One of the many I’m sure you have, and the one you’ve so clearly demonstrated here, you’re a BITCH!

  5. 23

    Dtamuz said,

    I just flat-out hate people. I socialize for the same reason people smoke crack, it’s an unproductive habit driven by neurology and poor self-control. I couldn’t give two shits if you were all shot in the face and thrown in a ditch.

    • 24

      Anonymous said,

      Sir,
      I can easily imagine why you might feel the way you do. You have every right to feel exactly as you do.

      Much compassion to you.

    • 25

      Kathi said,

      I think you don’t like people because you know your an outcast and they don’t like you…

      • 26

        ....... said,

        And people that think or talk the way you do Kathi just give the “outcasts” the right and even more reasons of hating and talking about you… anyway, why would an outcast want the aproval of a pretentious, self righteous, pompous, hypocritic, mindless idiots with no ability to think by themseves or personality or thoughts pf their own, but what the “community” thinks is correct such as yourself?? Thanks to dicks like you that think they are so normal i am on the outcasts side, at least they arent self righteous judgemental idiot bullies like you… I wish what he said happened to you and people like you…

    • 27

      jatora said,

      oh the teenage angst is strong with this one lol

    • 28

      Reid said,

      Lol I feel this way sometimes

    • 29

      Joy said,

      I love you

    • 30

      Uxmalla said,

      Yes!

    • 32

      your fucking mom said,

      This is my life every day. I’ll say please and thank you and hold the door open for you, but I don’t give one single fuck about you, especially when you come on here emphasizing the EXACT reasons I hate people.

  6. 34

    J said,

    I found the page interesting. Just tonight I starting trying to answer this question about my personality. I found your page interesting and sought to relate it o my personal experiences. I can share some of that here. I was someone who was picked on quite a bit as a child, I think my “I hate people” as stemmed from these distance but lasting experiences, judging everyone was a defense mechanism. When you’re always on the offense you don’t have to play defense so to speak. I’ve also found that I seemed to love my dog more than people, most likely because I can’t compare my dog to another person. I can freely and safely love my dog because it won’t betray or hurt me. I wonder if others who feel like they “hate people” also had difficult childhoods. I also have close friends, am married have children and am an academic (probably a defense mechanism too, I can feel like I have a leg up intellectually on most, again another self-esteem boost). Just thought I’d share that. Perhaps the paradox of being bullied though in the past was though it was negative, it made me a strong succesful person in adulthood and now that I’m getting to the bottom of my “hating people” syndrome, a little more honest too.

    • 35

      Kent said,

      I think you have something here. I lived overseas. I was ‘la americana’, I came to the states, ‘I was the foreigner’. Mind you I did have an accent, although I was born in the US. I didn’t fit in, and decided that my dog and my books were my best friend. I have exactly 4 friends whom I trust and we understand each other. Two are part of my family, two I’ve been to hell and back again with. I like meeting people, just don’t want to be friends with them. It’s too exhausting pushing that agenda.

  7. 36

    Janet said,

    This was GREAT. Dead on, thank you for your introspection and for posting this.

    • 37

      jatora said,

      this is nonsense, and it fooled you, exposing you for the gigantic idiot that you are.

    • 38

      Rachel said,

      I think your right about expectations.
      Problem is when dealing with some adults the bar cannot be put lower as it’s got to the point that it’s less hassle to just do everything yourself as it means less resentment,

  8. 39

    Hilary said,

    Very late to the party here but wanted to say that this post was excellent – it put into words what I have always felt but never really articulated even to myself. I often start off wanting to like everyone but as I get to know people better generally become more and more disappointed. The most recent example I can think of is a woman with whom I thought I might be friends with sometime, it turned out that she doesn’t care to listen to anyone else’s thoughts except her psychic. People can be so stupid. And I have expectations that everyone is going to be smart, rational, kind, etc. I agree that it would be better not to be so discriminating (because the only people it really does hurt is ourselves; this woman would not give a shit to hear that I think she’s a moron even though of course I’m not going to tell her) but again you were right. There is no way to not be like this, I think it’s just an ingrained personality trait. Thank you for sharing.

    • 40

      jatora said,

      you have expectations that everyone is going to smart, rational kind, etc.?!?!?!

      ?!?!?!?!?

      Seriously? This just means that you’re a complete moron, not that you hate people.

  9. 43

    I am the same way, What is “the miracle” you are referring to?

  10. 45

    I was looking for an article about why people dislike other people when I came across this. This has been really helpful. I am an introvert who looks like an extrovert and there are some people that I just take an instant dislike to – who I usually end up really liking people and others who I become friends with after a long introduction who I then go on to struggle with and dislike. I would love to understand why that is but I don’t. Glad to know I’m not the only one.

    • 46

      jatora said,

      how do you ‘look like an extrovert’ ?

      also, your friendship problems stem from a shitty personality, not just a blanket, easy ‘i hate everyone’ attitude. really.

      • 47

        Blood_Driver said,

        Can you get the hell out?! No one on here has a shittier personality than you. I’m trying to read people’s helpful comments but you keep f***ing appearing.

      • 48

        your fucking mom (strikes back) said,

        Dude, you got wayyy too much time and patience to be responding to every single one of these basic ass comments like the poster just slapped your grandma. Lmfao. With your talents you should be living up to your potential. Maybe a disgruntled clerk at your local DMV office? How about guest contestant on ‘Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?’ ( SPOILER: He’s not.)

        Broaden your horizons. I can see from here that they’re pretty narrow.

        And yes. That was a major burn.

      • 49

        Kent said,

        Um. Do you have a problem? How old are you anyway?

  11. 50

    Pierre said,

    Excellent article, and I agree on the writer’s conclusions, but please allow me to add some more, ok?
    In my humble opinion of people hater, I must say that the people who fit this category do so because they have some qualities that the average person lacks. They’re are usually more intelligent, educated and sensitive than the average idiot. For this reason, being with “regular” fellows becomes nothing but unbearable after a matter of minutes!
    It doesn’t just come down to behavior and manners, it’s also about the quality of the time that you spend with people.
    Let me give you an example: yes, I’m very rational and yes I expect to engage in educated, intellectual, rewarding conversations, and I do so because I’ve spent most of my life educating myself and “elevating” my critical thinking. That’s why I view the world in a certain way and that’s why I have developed certain radical ideas over time.
    And it’s not a coincidence that when I finally meet someone that I like, we click on ALL subjects, not just one, ALL OF THEM!
    We have a so-called unconventional thinking and we’re proud of it.
    In conclusion, I don’t hate all people, but only 95% of them, because in my life I HAVE met the wonderful 5% whose company I enjoy and treasure.
    I have NEVER met someone who only agreed with me on certain issues but not others, it has always been a “all or nothing”, and you know why?
    It’s simple: because intelligent people come to the same conclusions on all subjects.
    I wish that all people liked to educate themselves and to use their own brain, instead of conforming out of fear or following the leader.

    • 51

      Anonymous said,

      You may be intelligent, but definitely not insightful.
      Intelligent people do not “arrive to the same conclusions on all subjects”. Intelligent, rational people can be liberal, conservative, religious, humanist, whatever. Assuming one is less intelligent because they disagree with you is rather ridiculous and silly. Having said that, I do not believe you less intelligent because you disagree with me. Your rationalizations are just that, but evidence of delusion does not discount the possibility of intelligence.

      • 52

        jatora said,

        first correct post i’ve seen in this thread. probably because it doesn’t involve the stupidass OP but is just a reply to another sutpidass comment.

        besides the ‘you may be intelligent’ part. i think its pretty clear from his post how stupid he really is, even if you’re going to sugarcoat it, at least say he isnt dumb to make him feel better, but calling him intelligent is just nonsense.

    • 53

      ....... said,

      Oh yeah, i agree with most of what you said and can relate to it.

      • 54

        jatora said,

        oh ya? u relate to it? i guess you’re just as retarded as him then lol. everyone agrees. holy SHIT that’s embarrassing

    • 55

      ....... said,

      PS I was referring to Pierre, not the Anonymous above me.

    • 56

      jatora said,

      i agree with a lot of what you say, but there are people in the giga society that are religious. intelligent people do not all come to the same conclusions, some are just as deluded as regular people. it just shows how arrogant and egotistical you are that you can only get along with 5% of people, and only the ones who COMPLETELY agree with everything you say/think, or at least pretend to.

      typical french idiot pierrogance.

      god damn french people are idiots lol.

    • 58

      Marcey said,

      Thank you for your post–you and I are in line with one another. For the most part it is all or nothing for me. I used to be very disappointed in myself because I couldn’t be like all of the Facebookers out there, then I realized I am part of the five percent–the five percent who is not so caught up in ego and attention, just discovery of self and the world. Now I don’t mind not being part of the “club” that hurts others so often and so easily with their emotional outbursts and need to filter all through emotion and none through thoughtful discourse and openness to ideas.

  12. 59

    Anonymous said,

    I think this oversimplifies the issue. First of all, people with very high or very low social expectations have friends.
    Some misanthropes experienced severe social ostracism growing up. They don’t understand why, but react as any socially isolated being would: either by desperately trying to earn their way into a peer group, which rarely works; react angrily (perhaps violently) against the peer group; or in despair resign themselves to isolation. Either of the last two will lead anyone to hating other people (including themselves).
    Human socialization is very confusing! No one tells you when you make a mistake, yet somehow you’re supposed to just ‘know” what everyone else does, and are assumed to have the same social frame of reference & life experiences.
    People are not nearly as accepting as you seem to imply. And lowering expectations risks entering into one-down or codependent relationships.
    And no, I don’t like people. Maybe because they don’t make nearly as much sense to me as they do to each other.

  13. 60

    Herry69 said,

    the human race will be extinct in a hundred years ! people are just too stupid !

  14. 61

    James said,

    Good article. This is exactly how I feel about people.

  15. 62

    star said,

    everybody has something funny kind or moving to add to any life experience. I love dogs and they have taught me to connect to poeple of course people will let you down

  16. 64

    Bob said,

    I hate most people, but it is not due to high expectations. In my line of work I get the opportunity to deal with all types of people. Through my experiences I have seen people for what they truly are. Low life scum that do not deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else. I am not saying that there are not good people on earth, but the majority are not. Just look at all the terrible things people do and tell me you can like those people.

    • 65

      ....... said,

      Yes, i know what you mean, and thats one of the reasons why i want to get a job with hardly any social contact, so i dont have to deal with lowlifes like them…

      Theres scum like that Kathi moron that think the “outcasts” are bad and the “normals” are good, fucking hypocritic bullies with a “community thinking”, also there are the people that attack you for liking x thing or disliking y thing, or the people that are downright rude for no reason, the blind people that fail to see what CERTAIN groups of people do while condemning OTHER GROUPS, and well, the examples are endless… i completely agree with you.

  17. 66

    Geoffrey Edwin Harris said,

    A Couple Main Reasons Why I Hate People

    Ok. This reason is because they have rejected, denigrated, and excluded me since birth.

    Another is how hurtful they are due to their genetically inherited nature. People tend to be hearless, lazy, exploitative, mean-spirited, dishonest, full of inertia, incommunicative, and destructive.

    • 67

      ....... said,

      Yes, i also DESPISE people because of this, well, between MANY MANY other reasons, but i can totally relate to this… humanity makes me vomit; thats exactly what “normal” people are, thats exactly how many people such as that Kathi woman are… god i hate “normal” people.

      PS I can be very nice, very supportive, a loyal friend, stand on the side of TRULY innocent people, and defend them, but only with people that actually deserves it and not some worthless oxygen stealing scum like that woman or many many many………. ok 95% or the persons ive come across.

  18. 68

    Aaron said,

    Probably very late to this discussion, however, I have something to add that you may or may not read, and may or may not care about. I am also a people hater. I hate the high expectations everyone else has of me; I expect low expectations and good conversation. I expect honesty and friendliness.

    These traits are in extremely short supply, as most people who are social also are talented at manipulating people. I absolutely dislike being taken advantage of and will only give freely when people have established themselves as not expecting me to give them things. That is the core of introversion, or whatever you wish to call it; not a dislike of interaction, but a wariness of all the strings people attach to you.

    That is why I hate people. I can love a person, but I hate people. It is an important distinction to make, because there are individuals who simply enjoy your company and want nothing from you but to be with you. Those people are worth keeping. However, anyone who is effectively being a parasite really isn’t worth keeping; if you stop providing, they quickly find a new ‘friend’, or they start to become abusive and manipulative.

    They don’t belong near me. They don’t deserve my resources precisely /because/ they /want/ my resources. If on the other hand, they enjoy my personality, and I theirs, then they are worth providing for and expending energy, money, and time to be around.

    • 69

      Hermit the frog said,

      Thank you Aaron I wish the rest of humanity were like you, if they were I too would be an extrovert. You have put my thoughts into words much better than I ever could have.

      That is real love, to genuinely just enjoy somebody’s company without expecting anything of them and precisely how all humans SHOULD behave. Then nobody would cause another pain by insulting their choice to spend time alone and perhaps us hermits would choose to be with others more often too…

  19. 70

    Shotgun Kitty said,

    Well some of you seem to have a love hate with humans. I love my mom and sons. I hate I do mean HATE the rest. You spoke of high expectations…. Well indeed I would put myself in this category but I love that about myself. There are a bunch of half Ass, slackers that just get by through life without anyone saying anything to them. I find it peaceful to just be brutally honest to myself and others. When I care enough to find peace for myself to get them on the same page…. I like to call it communication with my kind of care.. Is it selfish to want peace from a complete understanding of where you’re coming from or someone too actually get their hands dirty and get real work done?…. I think not. My personality trait would be introverted…. Absolutely. Have I had a hard life and all that comes with it?. Some would say yes but I choose not to Bitch about that like a mere drama queen. Instead I say my life is better then some but I look around and see the humans that are homeless, handicapped in many different ways, some have no one to love at all, no pride, no idea how to handle even the tiny things life throws their way…. This makes me glad to be me. With pride. Not heartless just intolerant of anyone inside my living environment or senseless conversation about nothing. I find it very positive to want and achieve what you want in life its in fact revitalizing to go against the grain and realize that you can truly find happiness from within!! NOT everything we were taught is correct and can actually distract you from a true love of self! Don’t forget noone dies in you’re body you need to live that life to the fullest doing what your heart desires…. Btw a life well earned can be a life well lived..Oh and ahem… Its nothing personal but I freaking hate your stinking guts!!! Peace bubbles….

    • 71

      Doug said,

      That’s what I’m saying. I have high expectations and I love that about myself, and I’ll stand my ground, I believe there are too many stupud, lazy, and ignorant people in this world and frankly I’m sick of my job, working with a bunch of people who can’t do the simplest tasks, most of which only require common fucking sense. I want to smash my phone over my head just thinking about it.

  20. 72

    rs said,

    I googled “I hate people” and came across your blog. I thought this was a great post and totally identify with it! I don’t feel so alone now.

  21. 73

    syed said,

    i hate people..i seriously do…humanity is ok…But people are stupid boring…

    • 74

      Picnicl said,

      It is distressing how few people of intellectual and EMOTIONAL character there are. How few there are who don’t bend with uncertainty at the merest whiff of intellectual and emotional foresight in someone else. Instead people respond to brute, crude, force of will or the most mundane forms of diplomacy. As a result, they are far more brutish, crude and mundane themselves than they will ever admit. Women in particular manage to hide this under the veneer of their looks. If you are fortunate enough to have had a somewhat cossetted confidence in youth that has enabled you to bypass all the ugliness then you might live a life of some charming happiness. The ugliness, alas, will still be all around you from others who’ve achieved the material same as you have by entirely workmanlike and nothing more means.

      • 75

        Aaron said,

        Although your grammar was at times a bit difficult to follow, I understand the basic concepts; those being that most people lack subtlety and that those who have subtlety must nonetheless face the fact that subtlety elevates them not beyond those without. In truth it is quite difficult to wax poetically or philosophically without obfuscating the meaning one wishes to convey, thusly spoiling great ideas within the words intersparsed. In that regard, though greater intelligence and skill may be, fewer remain the people to that intellect see. So where one wishes to least effort waste, one must their expense of intellect reduce to needs of case. In other words, intelligence is often overkill and completely unnecessary. Beyond that, you’ll need to elaborate to convey the remainder of your concept.

  22. 76

    I don’t know if I hate people. I am much better in social settings than I used to be in High School. I used to look at people and judge them, which I figured out later was stupid and childish.

    But, I still hang out with people my own age and find most of them boring or not worth creating a relationship with. It’s probably why I have very few friends.

  23. 77

    Hermit the frog said,

    I think this only applies to extrovert “people haters”. People who genuinely dislike other people are introverts. I am a hermit; I like being alone. I am not a weirdo, other people seem to like me and force their company on me and while I can see the good in some people, I just don’t want them around me. I socialise with other people because I have to. I have to earn a living so I can sustain myself otherwise I will die. It’s not that I hate other people really I just hate the way people think they know what’s best for others by suggesting that somebody is strange because they enjoy their own company more than others. Old souls generally do not socialise much, it’s not that we hate other people but others are not open minded and conscious enough for us to actually want to spend time with them.
    Another point, have you ever actually tried to get rid of someone who really likes you without doing something mean? I am an honest person, I don’t want to pretend to be an asshole just so people will leave me alone. That’s why I don’t say “I hate people” but I dislike people and prefer my own company. I have very few friends and the ones I do have are not close to me. I have tried getting rid of people I don’t want around me and it’s hard, they don’t leave you alone. Lots of people think so highly of themselves they cannot understand why others might not want their company. Even when you are 100% honest and say “I don’t want to talk” or “I just want to be alone”.

    • 78

      Aubrey the Ascetic. said,

      You are my soul mate hermit the frog, but we shall never find each other because we will be too busy hiding in our respective caves.

    • 79

      Chris said,

      Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in this way of thinking. It is a struggle to live this way, and yes, you have to go to great lengths to get people to give you some space. When you do, they then become offended, thus making interaction more difficult than it was to begin with.

    • 80

      Ben said,

      It’s a little late to say this, but you are my soul mate Hermit. What we are experiencing is so on point it’s like I am typing this myself.

    • 81

      just Al said,

      I feel you sir hermit, but unlike you I am an asshole and have no problem telling people to go the fuck away before I stab them in the face. Then again, the people that really like me expect that kind of behavior when my patience limit has been reached.

  24. 82

    Claudine said,

    It’s a terrible thing, hating most other people. It makes me unhappy and I wish I could be cured of it. I hate other people’s careless behaviour, benefits lifestyles and lack of effort to help themselves or be self-reliant.
    I particularly find it hard to get along with people that excuse other people’s bad behaviour.

  25. 83

    Simone Runyan said,

    Meh…I don’t think having inordinately high expectations is the problem in my case. I don’t like most people for lots and d lots of reasons, and sometimes it’s hard to pin down a reason at all. People I know trend to want to talk about themselves all the time…and the more I let them do it, the more they do it. . I am also usually more interested in watching movies or reading articles (like yours), than engaging in idle chit chat about people’s kids, their AA meetings, the types of government assistance they are signed up for , the soap operas they follow, etc., etc. I t seems to me that the most boring people are the most social ones, and often the most popular ones. It took me a great while to recognize this inverse proportion at work. Wish I had realized it in school, when I was the outcast. I am now in my late 30’s and have met other zenophobes and made friends with them. Still waiting for marriage. Unfortunately, I trend to be attracted to men who are socially my opposite. Not sure what this portends for me in the future. Hopefully one day, I will meet a nice anti-social man and fall in love and we can be anti-social together.

  26. 85

    francisco said,

    I say that I don’t like people. Yet, is not entirely that I don’t like people. It’s that I simply prefer not having to deal with them. Like at work, I get along with everybody but if I had the option of not working with anybody, I’d prefer that over having to work with a team. If I go out, I prefer going with one friend or two to a quiet place and have a couple of drinks than going to a club or a party with lots of people at the same time, even if they are friends, it bothers me. I could be at a place with 10 really good friends of mine, I am not going to be the same as if I’m with only one of them. The good thing is that most of them already know my discomfort and when they suddenly notice I’m not there, they know why hehe.

    Why I say that I prefer not having to deal with people? Because everybody has its own reality, their own perspectives on things, and I really have a problem with that line. I hate having to cross it with other people, and I hate even more when people cross mine. I have a HUGE problem with this. So overtime I have developed this isolation from people just to avoid that. i have to admit it’s already starting to be a problem in my life and even have considered getting professional help.

    SO it’s not like I HATE people, I just have this HUGE tolerance problem with intolerance.

  27. 86

    Elizabeth said,

    I didn’t know there were so many people out there who feel like I do! I generally don’t like most people. The reason for this is that I believe most people do not care about anything or anyone but themselves. I think of myself as someone who does care about the environment, animals, the earth, and that I am a very sensitive person with a conscience. I like other people who also have a conscience.. I am not a team player although I do like to work with colleagues in parallel. I prefer to work independently, I dread the words “work in a group”. I think other reasons for not liking most people may stem from my childhood and experiences I have been through (subconsciously) where I found myself excluded or I didn’t fit in. Saying that I do have a good circle of close friends – who surprisingly are not people haters! It takes me a long time to form firm friendships but when I do most people would say I am loyal friend.

  28. 87

    James said,

    I think it’s both a matter of expectation and options. I think because most of us (or none?) don’t have the choice of having interaction only with people we like, and also since we can’t predict how relationships with others will turn out (afterall first impressions aren’t necessarily final impressions) the feeling of anxiety and resentment are dramatized. It’s probably simply that we hate most people we’ve met and I suppose since few of us will meet a very large number of people, it’s “kind of” a true statement, just not literally true. It’s easy to say get out more, but that isn’t a practical solution for everyone.

  29. 88

    leon said,

    i thought you was right but when i read your opinion about that ”we” have high excpectations and wish miracles from others i realized how wrong you are. That what you call high expectations i call it being a kind normal person with a few morals. People out there are very selfish,atomistic,assholes …..they care only about themselves and like disrespecting others . 80 % of people are trash maybe it is the filthy 21 century we live in where nobody gives a fuck about values. I am not saying that we must try to be the holy maria but come on miracles …. nice try, i still hate/dislike a lot of people lol but i like you, sorry for my poor english i have been learning it for a year

    • 89

      Joanna said,

      Good reply. The author lost me with that whole “miracle”, etc. jargon. I am an intelligent, educated, sensitive person who’s always thought of other people’s feelings; i.e. if I hurt their feelings if, would it bother them if I said/did this or that. What I’ve gotten back was a lot of abuse upon myself. Most do not care about you, your feelings, your property, boundaries, etc.
      I also agree that part of the problem with society is a reflection of this century we live in, along with all the apparent dirt of all sort which it is inundated with. I tell you what though. After having experienced a great deal of personal/familial loss and tragedy over the past few years, I am finished with being a doormat. I am learning to love myself and now see that it is OK to stand up for oneself and live your best life. I deserve good things, as do you. Respect yourself first.
      BTW, I believe that more than 80% of people are crap. It’s not too much to ask for respect back when you give respect to others in the first place. Is it?

  30. 90

    Maria said,

    I’m a person that dislikes most people” but don’t agree on the part that I’m causing myself pain, depression or negativity, in my opinion I dislike many or most people because they’re all the same and don’t care about what really matters in this world, material stuff means everything to them but lack sensitivity and emotions, nothing matters to these people so I rather be alone, I’m in a whole different level and yes I do have high expectations os the people that I connect with so this is why I chose to be alone…

    • 91

      Jo said,

      I completely agree with you. Why dont people think like me, care about the environment, animals, wrongdoings that go on everywhere? Why are people content doing nothing and watching soaps on tv? Why are they not trying to make the workd a better place? I have even cut off family members who are self centred and arrogan. In my mind the world could be an amazing place if more folk were like me- i am not being big headed I just can’t understand why everyone doesnt want this too. I have no desire for material things. I have few close friends because over time their flaws become intolerable to me. I have a partner who luckily dislikes people too. I react emotionally to injustice and feel like I am screaming into the wind most days. A part of me sometimes wishes I was stupid and easily pleased.

      • 92

        Joanna said,

        I am like this too. I agree with both of you. Sometimes I get so tired.

      • 93

        perry wang said,

        agree. i just stare into reality, screaming at the lack of serious, critical thought eople put into society. Lack of true compassion, wisdom, nonconformity. lack of people who ACTUALLY treat and judge others how they trat and judge themselves. You always treat yourself with 100 percent love. Never others.

        I just thimkthat if there was more people like me, ted kaczynski, nietzsche, dalai lama, the world would be abetter place.

        sometimes i wish i was just a conformist selfish dumbass who was easily pleased. Or that, maybe I never chose to “question the purpose of life” or “question the system” or just that i was less sensitive, less compassionate, empathetic, and less rebellious/critical thinking.

      • 94

        You are so on-point perry wang! A couple days after reading this post and then receiving a comment from Andrea that you typically receive from people who turn nice, kind people into people-haters, it dawned on me that those of us who feel like we hate people and are not mean at heart, probably don’t really hate people. If you think about it, why would we care so much about doing so much for others if we really hated them? We tell ourselves that we hate them, but our actions show otherwise. I think that what we really hate, is having to **deal with people**. What we wish is that we could deal with more people who are like ourselves_ who follow the golden rule and really have a passion to make the world a better place. But unfortunately, the reality is that more people than not are too self-centered to care much about how what they say or do affects others. We wish that people (especially family) would treat us with the same respect that we treat them, but we find that far too many people are just too self-involved to be considerate of others. But do we really hate them? I don’t think so. We just hate to think about them and be around them and we’d rather live on an island than to have to deal with all the rude, arrogant, self-serving people in this universe. If you could be around people like yourself, would you still say that you hate people? Probably not. But there are a lot of people (mean people) who couldn’t stand to be around people who are like them. Personally, I would love to meet more people like me; and I definitely wouldn’t be telling myself that I hate people. It seems a lot of us found this post by Googling the same keywords. We were trying to figure out why we hate people. But I don’t think that some of us really hate people. I think that we just hate having to deal with them and their issues. We wish that we could live a life where other people’s problems/psychological issues would not have an effect on our lives or peace of mind.

      • 95

        Andrea said,

        Perry Wang…marry me! 👍🏻Agree 100% even with your list of thinkers.

  31. 96

    Kat said,

    Hah! If people hadn’t given me so much hate, I wouldn’t have hated them back in the first place.
    People make me want to puke, or to swallow or inject something that will ensure I never wake again. I am revolted by their jealousy, nastiness and just plain dismissiveness – always have been since I was a very small child. Oh, and boringness.

  32. 98

    jy1005 said,

    this describes exactly I feel. Great article.

    I’ve just found alot of people whom I’ve met in the past few years to be either inconsiderate, fake, stupid, weird or rude (not to sound arrogant but these are honestly a lot of the qualities in people I’ve come across lately). Not sure if it’s just me or am I just having really bad luck meeting people these days?

    Although.. even my former best friend ticks me off now in some ways. I feel like it’s so hard to find people on the same wavelength as you – in terms of morals, values and way of thinking. I think I’ve just really learned to not expect anything from anyone anymore. Also having adopted a mentality of take no shit from anyone.

    Basically… it is what it is. But I do try to remain optimistic and hopeful in mankind.

    I feel like as you grow older you have less tolerance in dealing with people and their BS. My theory has always been it’s better to be alone than with bad company. Too bad as humans we need social interaction.

    I just find myself distancing a lot with people these days.. but I just don’t like to surround myself with negative energy and I don’t like being fake.

    I just wish there were MORE decent people out there. I love some good company – it’s just simply rather hard to find.

    • 99

      Joanna said,

      Why can’t I meet people like yourself for potential friendship? My two cents on the matter is that society is going to hell, period. The masses love stupidity and ignorance. It seems almost impossible to meet “friends” and this is more true as you get older. I am working on the take no shit from anyone mentality as well.

  33. 100

    Thinker said,

    I’m constantly saying that I hate people. But it’s not really true.

    What I hate is opinionated ignorance. People who spout off their uninformed drivel, thinking that they are right and everyone else is wrong, and expressing it in such a way that they make others feel like idiots. There are multiple sides to every story and multiple perspectives, and often, a lot of information that one just can’t possess. If people do not know all of the facts, they should not speak as if they are experts.

    I think every comment ever written on any social platform should start off with: With my limited knowledge on the subject… Because in a lot of cases, this would be true and go a long way to allowing forgiveness of ignorance.

    People who cannot see – or refuse to see – their own ignorance are the ones that make me think that I hate people. A lack of respect for individuality is also what makes me think that I hate people.

    We are all guilty of it to one degree or another. It is how we deal with that lack of respect that determines what kind of person we are.

    That said, there are aspects of other people that I actively dislike that has nothing to do with ignorance or lack of respect.

    Sometimes you just don’t like someone because there are too many personality traits that you find irritating. That person generally can’t help it, and it has nothing to do with their intellect or beliefs, but it’s still irritating. Things like their laugh, an irritating trait where they say ‘yeah’ after every sentence that someone says to them (yeah, yeah, yeah in a loud voice is all you here and you want to shove a sock in their mouth), or even their tone of voice can make you cringe.

    Sometimes this irritating trait is so strongly irritating because it is one that we share, but one that is also different between us. In the case of the yeah person: I myself also say yeah a lot (which I only noticed after being annoyed at this other person), but this other person does it in such a loud, obtrusive, voice that it grates on me. This difference of a similar trait is perhaps what causes the dislike. (They’re not doing it right, so it’s annoying?)

    Conversely, what I actively like in another person is an aspect of myself that I wish I could possess – or an aspect of myself where the other person does it better. I like this trait, so I like the other person – and because I like this trait so much, I can tend to overlook a few other aspects which don’t quite measure up?

    What do others think? Do you agree?

    • 101

      Yagwit said,

      I agree with liking someone for traits you’d like to possess. My husband has an easygoing personality. He can also keep his cool around people he loathes. His maturity level is that of a 90 year old man. When someone disrespects me, I want to watch them suffer endlessly. I’m disgusted by trashy dress, narcissism, racism, faux religious people, drug users, and gay bashers. I sometimes do not like myself. I hear find the good in people, but thus far no one has showed any decency. I bail at any sign of weakness, such as smoking. I know humans aren’t perfect. The flaw is 50% mine. We are meant to be a beautiful mess. I’m all the sudden exhausted.

    • 102

      Chris said,

      Yes! Yes! You have hit the nail on the head! You have just said everything I have lived with my whole life. Imagine how great
      Ife would be if most people would think this way. What if our elected officials would adopt these mindsets. We can always hope.

  34. 103

    Chiatsu said,

    Hey Jatora!

    Shut the fuck up 🙂

  35. 104

    lily said,

    It is not about just about expectations but in a sense there is some truth to that! It’s about the lack of respect, sensitivity and the selfish, incurteous behavior that makes sensitive people tired of humans. I hate people because there are way too many takers and fakes…not because I expect people to be different but because they are not!!

    • 105

      lily said,

      It is not about just about expectations but in a sense there is some truth to that! It’s about the lack of respect, sensitivity and the selfish, incurteous behavior that makes sensitive people tired of humans. I hate people because there are way too many takers and fakes…not because I expect people to be different but because they are not!!

  36. 106

    lala said,

    I dnt like people because im too nice usually and always feels as through i have to spends tons of energy to please them or called a bad person. Because every time im not a super duper cheerful friendly person someone out there, even strangers take it personally. I really think its a woman thing like this is expected of me because im a young woman but i dnt really know. In other words my neighbors and friends strangers expect way too much of me and give little to nothing back

  37. 107

    Uncle Kev 007 said,

    Misanthropists are highly intellectual and do have high standards, but make the best unselfish lovers!!! 💝

  38. 108

    Misty Ballard said,

    I don’t believe that my issue is expecting too much from people. The reason I dislike most people is the opposite. I actually expect very little, and it’s all the more annoying when people can’t do simple things, such as not be hateful, dramatic, or selfish. In my case I feel that so many people in my life are dramatic and constantly searching for reasons to be offended or treat others like crap. At the end of the day I can’t help but feel like I’d just rather have nothing to do with them.

  39. 109

    Matt said,

    No, actually I just literally hate all people. I don’t have any friends. I avoid my family like the plague. I avoid contact with ALL people. The people you are talking about really don’t hate all people, they just say it. But I really really do. To the point that if there were no laws against murder, I would be the world record holder for most murders. I would literally just kill people all day long until I was stopped. I. FUCKING. HATE. PEOPLE.

    • 110

      tom said,

      Matt, I totally agree with you. I don’t associate with family, at all and don’t have any close friends. Im an artist and maybe thats part of it. But for me its boundaries and at the lack of trust. People almost always overstep boundaries. To me, they are noisy, inconsiderate and downright arrogant. They’re messy and they litter. They don’t respect nature or their surroundings. I too have murdered many in my head and I don’t like my thinking sometimes. And lets not get onto unruly children, and that to me is reason to blame parents for not teaching lifes proper etiquette.

  40. 111

    Chris said,

    I’m a young guy and i am a people hater.
    All i ever expected from people is decency and good manners, honesty and that they don’t feel supreme as if they are something better than me.
    Would you call this “high expectations”?
    Because sadly most people fall way short of such basic values.
    Most people are just dumb fucks, ignorant, insensitive, deceived and brainwashed, without any brain or rather just a piece of shit in its place.
    They care about superficial things, celebrities, every minor expression on faces of people surrounding them and how others move or behave, which clothes they should wear or what others think about them.
    They fail to see how their poverty and all the shit in their miserable life is directly connected with their stupidity, their puny spirit and simple-mindedness, their bad decisions and the people they hang around with – or fall for.
    They fail to see they are just lowlife scum wearing the recent fashion.
    They cannot see they live a lie, a DOGLIFE basically.
    They swim in the shit all day – and they don’t like it – THEY LOVE IT !!
    I found many people to be exploiters and when one needs them a single time, after having done them a lot of favours, they magically manage to forget it all and turn on you. A subgroup of the exploiters are what i call the “traders”. These are the ones who will always demand each and every little favour back 3fold – at the very least !!
    From the group of males i literally HATE 80%.
    I like maybe 1% of them, the other 19% i am indifferent with, i see they have some “human potential”, but i won’t like them either, mostly because of their prejudices or because they think bad about me.
    Now to the female group:
    Ladies, i am sorry having to say this, but you are even worse than men.
    I always wondered why so many girls would have a problem to get along with each other, but now i know. Its because most of you are so full of shit, from head to toes.
    I guess you must think about other girls like this:
    “oh, she has less weight than i have… i need to hate this bitch”
    “her ass is so perfect, unlike my massive shitter… how dare she?”
    “her tits are hangin’ not a single bit… why do mine?”
    NO, THE FREAKIN EARTH DOES NOT ROTATE AROUND YOU !
    AND GUESS WHAT: YES, YOUR SHIT DOES STINK TOO.
    There is no comparison with the nastiness of how and why women hate.
    Of course, decent and kind-hearted women do exist, indeed i met them, but they are very few.
    I must admit, from all the women i ever met, i ABSOLUTELY HATE 98% AT LEAST.
    What most of the girls become is for a large part their parents fault.
    If i ever had a daughter falling into this stubborn, mean-spirited 98% category, i would beat the shit out of her !!!!
    But it may very well have to do with the area i live in, partially.

    • 112

      Carolyn said,

      Chris u summed it up beautifully. Cheers to you and 2 big thumbs up. Ive been treated like shit by other women most of my life for all the reasons you just stated. You speak the truth.
      Most are miserable bitches who need to get a life.

      Keep up the good work.

    • 113

      tom said,

      Chris, Perfect, as Carolyne said mate, you summed it up perfectly. They are superficial, materialistic, and TV and celebrities rule to these deluded sycophants. Most people USE others and not many do out of the goodness of their heart. Its a fucked up world. We are of the few that have the insight mate. Cheers. t

    • 114

      Joanna said,

      I love you Chris. You hit it on the head. Oh, the thing about women is sadly very true. I am female, and thank God I seem to lack the “jealous, petty” gene. I would rather deal with a narcissistic, male asshole all day long than most women any day. I have been on the receiving end of these witches’ behavior on too many occasions, and frankly I’ve had enough. No more Ms. Nice.
      I very much appreciate your honesty.

  41. 115

    Deborah Perry said,

    I have been looking for an article like this forever. Thank you for the insight.

  42. 116

    db said,

    I get this and now I know there are more of us than I realized always thought it funny we make friends

  43. 117

    Yagwit said,

    Thank you for clarifying my feelings. I often lack the patience to explain why I don’t like people. I live in an area were few are educated beyond high school. My neighbors also lack basic morals. I’m getting too old to seek friendships. I have only connected with one human. People certainly know and hate me. I’m critical and swear at others (loads). Why did destiny drop me in the racist Bible Belt? I’m not any particular race, but see the ignorance towards family members. I’m also an atheist. People immediately jump into bashing me as a parent, instead of enlightening me on their views. “I hate people!”

    • 118

      tom said,

      Yes, the scary bible belt. Now Im either judging or very perceptive of people, or even both, but I call it the belt where dinosaurs are not extinct. I for one could not live there mate. I wish you luck. cheers.

  44. 119

    anunymous said,

    Friendship is WAAAY overrated . Your lucky if you have one person on this vile planet you can count on and that’s the truth. I hate people because..lets face it…they really only care about themselves and their immediate concerns. Most are selfish, jealous and petty in my opinion.
    This whole sisterhood and brotherhood thing is for the birds. When are people gonna admit that they just don’t like each other all that much! Stop pretending! I enjoy being alone. No headaches …no drama…..no BS. The more people ive had in my life the more miserable ive always been. My most peaceful days are the ones where i speak to NOBODY..
    And don’t even get me started on family they are the worst!

  45. 121

    Jo said,

    My friendship group has dwindled over the years as youthful naivety went and I could see people for what they are ‘worth’. I even shut out family members that did not come up to scratch. I have been told this is harsh but I guess we all have a list of criteriors that we expect in a decent human being and I find it intolerable to smile and pretend its ok to be a liar, selfish, cruel, snob etc. Basically I cannot fake liking someone and it becomes apparent very quickly if I dislike you. I am beginning to wonder if human nature is all about being selfish, arrogant, greedy, cruel and those who despise others are, in fact, the rare anti-dote to this.

  46. 122

    Jen said,

    I don’t like most people not because I have high expectations, my expectations are decidedly low. I dislike most people because it is a minority who say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, who do good things for other people who are unrelated to them by blood, who drive in a courteous manner, not trying to cut up other drivers to bolster their own ego, who are considerate of other people, who are good neighbours, who go out of their way to check on their friends if they’re having a hard time and make sure they’re ok, who aren’t selfish and who are accepting of other human beings. I try my best to do all of the above but it’s a rarity to come across another human being who does the same.

  47. 124

    tom said,

    And when you do go some good act of kindness, most people think you want something out of them and are perplexed, Until they realise that you are one in a million. your comment was well said. My lifes motto is “Smile, Embrace Life, Have Fun and Do A Good Deed A Day” And I do try to live by that. Cheers, tp

  48. 125

    Christie said,

    My hatred is only getting worse. I hate the idea that you are reading this right now. That I am writing this in my weakened moment. You are hated by me. No matter how much you try to convince me that you are a good person, that you have compassion, and all the other bullshit lies people tell themselves to tell others. You are flawed you’re human. You judge everything you know nothing about from your own life experiences. None of us are innocent all of us are to blame. I cannot trust you and you should not trust me.

    • 126

      Amy said,

      I can’t resist, so I’ll wax philosophical. Yes, philosophical. Weakness looks good on you. No really. To be good is to be real. You can’t have compassion, you have to give it or it is not actually compassion. Who defines flaw? Judging something you know nothing about is like saying a word that has no pronunciation. One is innocent. “Can” and “should” – many confuse the two.

      • 127

        Christie said,

        Oh look another human making up lies and judging from something they know nothing about. You know nothing about me or my experiences. Yet somehow you derived some conclusion. Very typical lol. Not to mention you’re a very confused person at that. Read slower. I meant every word. Read carefully hopefully you won’t misunderstand again! I hate you all. Including you. Don’t forget.

  49. 128

    fuckfacebitch said,

    Yeah, I seriously hate people. I do not find enjoyment in being near others, I cannot stand engaging with others, and I do not feel guilt in hurting others, either mental or physical.

  50. 129

    Amy said,

    Hi Liz,
    Why a high “expectation”? What if they are simply high “desires”?

    I think some haters have high expectations, but some of us are way less standoffish and are more of a “performing” type who doesn’t expect or try to make determinations. Instead, they just fall in love with goodness. It’s as if they hate people, but think that at any time, the people they hate may, quite possible, just stop being hateable.

    Does that differ from your observations, or are we just talking semantics at this point? It would be great to hear back from you on this!

  51. 130

    Judy said,

    Actually, for me it’s the complete opposite. I “hate” people, but I’m always the one who approach humanity in a friendly manner. All smiles, though I don’t go to the creepy zone of smiles. You know, I just try to be nice, but sometimes, I think that humanity just wants to be hated to feel that they exist on this miserable planet. Tl;dr, we are all masochists on some levels.

  52. 131

    Anonymous said,

    People haters actually have very, very low expectations. We learn then from experience.

    We expect people to not show interest in us after we show interest in them.
    We expect people to not have empathy.
    We expect people to call us only if they want something.
    We expect people to lie.
    We expect people to not invite us.
    We expect to have to do all the inviting and and initiating ourselves.
    We expect people to be self-absorbed
    We expect people to demand that we shallowly bond with them in les than five minutes.
    We expect people to not listen to us.
    We expect people to demand that we listen to them for hours at a stretch.
    We expect people to drop us the first time we assert ourselves.
    We expect to be treated poorly, then called “crazy” when we object.
    We expect to be always told to “lighten up” when we’re not smililing 24×7

    We expect all of these things from other people. Which is why I don’t interact; relationships are boring and pointless. Really, why bother?

  53. 133

    G said,

    Right. You know, humans have disembowled other humans. They’ve burned them to death. They’ve buried them alive. Yesterday I saw a pigeon that someone had cut the wings off and left to die. In the winter I gave a neighbor who likes to throw buckets of I’ve water on stray cats. And everyday people visit a billion tiny cruelties on each other. I live in as much isolation as I possibly can. I rarely have contact with people. Not because my expectations are too high. Humans are a mistake. End of. Nature messed this one up. And don’t tell me about all the good people. All you “good” people know the zillions of unkind thoughts you have all the time. If your honest. And every person has the total potential and ability to do the worst things people have ever done. The atrocities of man are no flukes or rarities. They are normal. And the people who did them are normal. I hope humans go extinct. Or evolve into something very not human.

    • 134

      Christie said,

      Very well said! Totally agree, G! I see the things about humanity that you do.

    • 135

      Joanna said,

      TRUE. I’d like to say though, that my unkind thoughts are a direct result of the abuse and shit that others have thrown at me, as they still do. It looks to me that your unkind thoughts stem from similar reasons. So like you, I am isolated because I am tired of everyone’s shit. My mother always said “From the greatest love will grow the greatest hatred.” Yes, I agree with you. The harder you try, the more kicked in the head you will be. I’m through trying.

  54. 136

    alize said,

    I hate other people too f*ck them

  55. 137

    david said,

    I can’t stand people. Most people are a waste of space. They are selfish, self absorbed, and don’t stand for anything but immidiate gratification. Most people don’t have a clue about what’s going on in the world. Because there is nothing more important Than them. I see people every day that just make me shake my head in digust. People cannot be counted on. They can’t be trusted. They stand for nothing. I don’t want to think like this. But most of these people are not human they are just homo sapiens.

  56. 139

    “all of us were educated and worked in areas that required working with others” I actually have come to believe this is probably mostly the culprit. I’ve never been much of a social person but I didn’t have such a disdain for society until I actually had to work with the public. It has driven me nuts to the point that I don’t care if I have to take a pay decrease. People on an individual level I can handle to a degree but working with the general public will make you lose all faith in humanity.

  57. 140

    Mike from Realsexism.com said,

    People I hate. The 18-20% of the population who are crazy feminists. The 70-78% of women who exploit men as cash machines. The 50% of the male population that are brainwashed manginas. The cultures that think it’s ok to cut babies genitals. Stupid people, jesus freaks, and I have a moderate case of contempt for the sheep of the world. So yeah probably less than 12% of the population of the planet even make it past my basic level 1 filter.

  58. 141

    Frenam said,

    I don’t like people until I’m given a reason to. I feel almost nothing for strangers, and until I’m aware that you’re a decent human being, I could not care less what happens to you. 90% of the people I’ve come across have not met such simple standards.

  59. 142

    Joel Anthony said,

    I think this was very enlightening.

  60. 143

    charlotte said,

    what about people who gossip about someone and so the gossip passes on,+regardless of whether its true or not the person(s)told the gossip believe it instead of deciding to judge people for themselves?get to know someone without listening to other peoples judgements,decide for yourselves.what about people who kill someone,they are definately on the scale of evil never to be spoken to again,why are they let out of jail? ( my child got killed),you would think people would be sympathetic,show empathy 2wards me,but evil gossipers have blamed me!+this is not unusual in similar cases. 1 can be anywhere anytime,even in your own home +something bad can happen. there is evil everywhere. I have helped people in past,been friendly, lent money, but still people will gossip,divulge your secrets,etc etc. I am VERY careful what i talk to people about now. never tell any1 if u win the lottery, if u gain an inheritance, if u have a very well paid job,if you have a rich relative, jus use common sense,dont trust any1 until they PROVE themselves trustworthy, +thats not easy. to all you RARE good, decent ,non judgemental ,non gossipy people out there I wish u well.

  61. 144

    Mel said,

    I’m kind of balancing between True and False here..
    While your interpretation of the hate towards people is quite impressive, I don’t think it’s the same for everyone or it’s not 100% right.

    I do expect things from people, but these are not high expectations and you will see why: when you come to my place, how hard is it to put your cup of coffee in the recycle bin? When you’re in a restaurant, how hard is it to make your kid stay in place and not run from table to table? How hard is it to say thank you when I give a hand, hold the door, etc.?
    How hard is it not to put your filthy, snowy and dripping feet on the bus’s seats during winter?
    These are just showing some respect and there you go, respect is the key. To me (yes, my perceptions of things, my expectations), respect is the most important value there is. I’m not inviting home so you can screw up my place. I’m not going to a restaurant to be ran by by kids that laugh so hard it pierces my ear or that spill everything around. I don’t open the door to serve you as a slave, I open the door by respect and show some care. I’m not going on a bus to stay up because many seats are already taken by filth, calcium, water, etc. spots. You get the picture.

    I hate people because of their overwhelming lack of respect. And as an ex-cashier in a large store (ok, let’s say it… Walmart), I’ve come across too many people thinking I was really serving them. I asked a client to take all her stuff out of her hand basket. She stared (well, glared) at me like I was a mosquito that should be crushed. When I asked her to give me the basket to none would be on the floor blocking the other basket’s way (ie not taking too much space… the store was crowded), the man that accompanied her raged at me saying “What kind of store is this? We can’t do anything now?” like I did or said something really wrong… I told a woman 3 times that after her, the cash was close. After 3 times staring at me, she burst only to tell me she didn’t understand the language I spoke (French, in a French store, in a large geographical zone). When she finally was ready to have her things scanned, I apologized and told her that if I knew she didn’t speak French, there wouldn’t be an understanding. She burst again telling me we lived in a free country… don’t ask me what the hell was that even a link to what I said, but she was mad at me for literally nothing… at least nothing I would know of. I got called a bitch, a fucking cunt, a many-other-things because I wouldn’t ”bend” to kiss their toes and clean their shoes.

    No, really. There are truths in what you said. But in my case, it has a lot more to do with respect than expectations, and that’s one reason among a lot.

    • 145

      Joanna said,

      Agreed. Everything you’ve said is true. The simple words of courtesy, controlling and teaching your kids good manners, the lack of gratitude, lack of respect for you and your property, etc., etc. All true.
      I almost got into a fist fight with my witch of a so-called “sister-in-law” because her kid, sweet 2 year old that obviously needed a supervising parent, was tormenting my tiny, sweet dog and I couldn’t get to her to just put her in my room for her safety. See, this person thinks that the universe revolves around her kids, that they can do no wrong, and apparently are allowed to torture and kill small, helpless animals that wouldn’t hurt a fly. They can also scream and screech at the highest decibels so you lose the rest of your already damaged hearing, run amuck in stores pissing other people off, etc.; you get the picture. This is a person that put me through 9 months of terror under my own family home’s roof, as I grieved over my parents’ deaths, had to take care of my father’s estate business as executor, and other difficult and highly stressful things. She is just ONE example, but a final straw, of the ignorant, narcissistic, hypocritical (portrays herself as an evangelical Christian to others), jealous/petty, manipulative and aggressive excuse for a human being that I am SICK AND TIRED OF! I’ve been through enough shit with people to take anymore. I’ve been too nice of a person and have been seen as weak for too long. If you’ve been through too much, you start to feel hatred and I have never honestly hated anyone before. There comes a time where the line of no return has been crossed, and in my case, that time is NOW.

  62. 146

    Bob Dobalina said,

    I don’t like humans at all!!!! And I am definitely not sitting around with 4 people ever, saying anything or laughing.. I am a complete hermit, I have cut off 99% of people I’ve known in my life ,family included ,except my mom and brother. I have a friend, kind of, but we only see each other 4 maybe 5 times a year (usually to get wasted drunk and listen to music). I hate people and I mean all people, kids make me Want to kick them into outer space, adults, I wish I could hunt with any weapon of my choice and the modern day teen, well these little fuckers should be treated like the Jews in Germany during world war 2. So, yes it’s safe to say there are people who generally hate everyone! I only interact with people for work purposes, being a truck driver helps limit that to talking to a couple people a week. So with that said, fuck all of you too!

  63. 147

    Heidi said,

    I think your post has some very insightful points and found it an interesting read. For myself (yes, I’m college educated, yes, I was raised to high ethical standards) I think you missed one aspect. I was raised by a highly intellectual and also a highly(!) critical family (immediate and extended). I often avoid people because I feel criticized or judged. I feel tired trying to live up to people’s expectations and I really wish I could avoid most people. But I have to go to work and I haven’t figured out how to get rich quick so I don’t have to work. 😛 I get it that might be purely my perception, but I’m predisposed to expect criticism and I haven’t figured out how to turn that part of my brain off. So I wonder how many people have this same issue? Disliking people because they think people are stuck up or uptight or judging (whether real or imagined)?

  64. 148

    Josh said,

    This did put my mind in a better light…
    But like you said, my expectations must be untouchable…
    Now a days a lot of words are used differently.
    Hate is more dislike
    Personality,voice, thoughts,that freaking mole.
    All the maricle expectations that stay with us from children movies…
    What I really dislike is not understanding why I don’t have friends or more relationships with people…
    And when I do attempt I have nothing In common to the conversation or I don’t know how to go about making friends because I don’t trust people

  65. 149

    goatseye said,

    I really don’t like people, it’s not a hate, it’s something like an allergy, intolerance. I have tried so hard, but always the people are passing my limits and after i cut with them, first in my mind, after i just wait the situation to cut them from my life, it starts from my immediate family since early childhood, i never liked this world of the people, they draw my energy and make me feel so exhausted, i know easily what is in them mind, i want to leave far from people, near to the nature and God, i still want to help the people and do not like them to suffer, i actually love children.
    I think most of the people are senseless in their existence and it was their own choice
    , also most of the people are bad, they let them lives to be driven by jealousy, envy, lies, greed, low moral wishes and so on.

  66. 151

    mspididit said,

    Reblogged this on mspididit and commented:
    A great piece of work by a SME indeed!

  67. 152

    Amsterdam said,

    Jatora, you should be banned from this blog. Your comments are cruel, provocative for no good reason, and ignorant to say the least.

  68. 153

    amanda said,

    Someone understands me!!!!!!!!!! Well done on this article. I have lived my whole life “hating people”. And i do have very high expectations of myself and what i live by and i expect others to do the same. Not fair to others or ourselves bc we need to let go control and just live.

  69. 154

    Ellie said,

    Hello Liz,

    I randomly stumbled upon this blog post, and I wanted to say that it was a truly refreshing read.

    I have gotten in horrible, and, in the end pointless, debates because of my controversial visions of the world, namely how I perceive people. I personally am not one who wants to control what others do or think, I just have my own opinions on the way they think and live. Sadly, it seems like opinions are only tolerated/allowed as long as it fits in the model of whatever is popular in society at a given moment.

    I am seeing that some people here are misunderstanding your points, which is unfortunate, but I have come to understand it is bound to happen. A lot of people will turn uncommon opinions into personal attacks, hyperboles, etc. Some simply love to attack you for no valid reason. Unfortunately, I do not think we can do much about it, for we have no power to reason the unreasonable.

    I think the “hatred” of others primarily stems from “normalcy deviation”, which in turn causes the inability to relate to most. I think the “hate” is strengthened by how abnormal people are treated by, namely, irrational people…which in turn causes abnormal people to feel loneliness and resentment.

    Some of us, “people haters”, would really like to feel a connection to someone, but we simply can’t, because our thought processes are far too different from most people we encounter. We are, indeed, bound to feel lonely. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with loneliness itself, but as humans, I think, we still need to be able to relate to others, which is hard to do when you are “weird”.

    At least, when we do meet someone who is like us, then it allows for a stronger connection, that radiates rarity and depth. Even though, I cannot stand most people, I would like to get married someday…with someone I could hate people with!

  70. 155

    NamelessWolf said,

    I don’t really harbor “expectations” beyond common decency. I don’t like people who are disrespectful or aren’t understanding. I don’t like people who are rude or unkind without reason. I don’t like double standards or selfishness or self righteousness.

    So, that rules out a lot of people. And no, I don’t mean “momentary lapses of reason” or a bad day. Those happen. I mean people who include these traits in their every day life.

  71. 156

    Chris said,

    To both Mel and Bob, thank you for giving me a reason to go on living.

  72. 157

    Anonymous said,

    Wow.
    I don’t like people myself, and maybe that’s because so many seem to get off on acting like an asshole to others. Yes, I am prejudiced against those who enjoy being deliberately mean. If that sounds like something only a twelve-year-old should say, fine.
    In addition, many people don’t know how to superficially socialize like extroverts do. The idea interacting with strangers as if you already know them (you don’t), seems borderline ‘cocktail personality’ to many non extroverts. Being judged for not knowing how to superficially socialize, seems like another good reason to dislike people in general.

    • 158

      minasde said,

      That is exactly how I filter people, those who attack others and those who don’t. the second group is very very very rare

  73. 159

    minasde said,

    I think you are wrong when you say “high expectations”, let say you put a human in a zoo with some chimpances, the human knows the chimpances will never fulfill his expectations, but he still has a need for social interaction with others of his level.

    Is not that you really expect people to fulfill your expectations, you have them and even if you know they will never be met you can’t get rid of them because they are innate to you as a human being.

    It’s a problem of intelligence, someone with down syndrom could never fulfill the expectations of someone who doesn’t have down syndrom, the same way someone who has a “normal” intelligence could never fulfill the expectations of someone like Stephen Hawkins.

    When people say lower your expectations what they are really saying is the others cant be like you so lower yourself to be like them, and that cannot be done.

    That said, it doesn’t apply to those who have expectations they don’t even meet.

  74. 160

    CJ said,

    I don’t think the comment at the end is justified. I think this is just another form of bigotry. Regardless of if you like the idea of people having high expectations of others or not, you cannot blanket people into a one-size-fits-all approuch as is minorly implied as being something we should do. Perhaps much of the ‘hating people’ mentality is created by a lack of solid communial foundations and relationships. In a world which is incrasing atomized, it is much harder to build mutual support networks with people.

    People might have suffered emoutional toil from bad relations or encounters in the past, which can have an effect on people. I for one used to love, cherish and think people knew what was best for themselves. My justification for this was my local enviroment (a small village community, where people looked out and cared for each other). However, a lot of bad events happening outside of that space caused me to become more cynical and more misathropic. My expectations had been proven false, but that doesn’t mean I should still continue to love and cherish people in the same way. Not that I wish them any harm. Infact, even if they are a dick to me I still want to help them and wish them the best in what they do.

    It is easy to say ‘well, our expectaions of people are unrealistic’, but what if they’re not? I’ve worked in disabilities, ESOL, mental health, charity, unpaid teaching, etc. And what you would assume that people in these enviroments would be nice and understanding. But, what you get I have found is people calling our clients spastics, retards. Telling people to ‘smile’ or ‘lighten up’ when they have depression. And your telling me it might be better to have an optermistic view on people, that I should lower my standards on them? No, I won’t commit bad faith. I won’t be inauthentic to myself for the sake of some farce. I’d rather have all the negative emoutions thank you for the sake of being self-conscious and critcal of what is happening around me. Because the consequence of the ignorance of optermism, that is true evil. I survive in society, I get on and regardless if I hate a person or not, I will still help them. They might backstab, betray and be inconsiderate to me. But I will still help them if they are in need.

    I might be a misanthorpe, but I can tell you it’s better to be a misanthrope with a philanthropic heart, then someone who wears the appearance of an philanthropist but is in reality indiffrent to everyone besides themselves. Thanatos, rather than eros!

    • 161

      CJ said,

      Just a personal note. Not calling you a bigot, just saying that the implication that people have too high expectations of people and that they should lower them could be considered an inverse bigotry from their own.

      Truth be told, just like a few people here, I just want common standards of decency. Even if they don’t, I can respect them if they do deviate from such standards and are authentic about it. My main problem is people unconsciously portray themselves as good, kind, nice, alturistic people. Yet in reality they do not see how selfish and uncaring they are about others. You tend to get a sense if someones being genuine, or if they are just doing something because that’s whars expected of them.

    • 162

      CJ said,

      Another personal note. Sorry if I have accidently offended you.

  75. 163

    Doug said,

    This article really hit the nail on the head with me. I loved it. I am a people hater and you just made me realize that I have ridiculously high expectations for people. I’m not going to change that because I still think people are stupid. Especially at my workplace where people can not so the simplest task. This article made me happy though. Thanks for putting people like me in a positive light 😉 and I look forward to meeting more people hating friends!

    • 164

      ace2euce said,

      Me neither !!! I do meet people that I like and that is rare but I appreciate them like the Stars and Sun! I think my expectations are normal. People just have no back bone or faith.

  76. 165

    Kitkat34 said,

    I suffer from this. I find I really hate people in general. I find that most are ridiculously selfish, rude, obnoxious and just plain irritating.

    I type this as I have swelling hate in my heart listening to our downstairs tenants rv just blaring under my sleeping toddlers room, and the obnoxious drunken neighbours yelling at each other even though it’s late on a Sunday night.

    I think the part where you say they don’t measure up, it’s true. I feel what these others are doing is incredibly rude and obnoxious because I would not be so loud considering the time and that they live under us.

    I have a hard time making friends, it’s true. I sometimes am confounded I ended up working in an er dealing with some of the world’s most disgusting people you could ever imagine. Life is strange to be sure.

    • 166

      Earlyretiree said,

      You sound like me. Fwiw, you sound like a really nice person. The kind I’d like to have as a friend

  77. 167

    ace2euce said,

    Thanks for the clarity. I also hate people but I love learning.

  78. 168

    Pete said,

    Yes. This really rings a bell. I too “hate people”. And yes I have very high expectations, very few friends (essentially zero), and am depressed a lot. I was married to a similar person for many years, someone else who had few friends. If someone doesn’t meet my expectations I walk away, if at all possible. Unfortunately it’s not always possible to walk away–what if you supervise someone who doesn’t measure up? I’m not going to fire this person, but it’s so aggravating to be around someone you’ve come to despise, every day for hours on end. (This person has very mild learning disabilities/autism, and I hate myself for how I feel about him, blaming him because he doesn’t “get” social cues, because he doesn’t seem to be able to apply the stuff I’ve tried to teach him, because he yacks about stuff that fascinates him and bores me to death, because he’s rude and inconsiderate by making so much noise yawning/slurping/gasping/choking (he sits in the next cube and clearly has some physical problems as well as mental ones), etc., etc.)

    What the freak can we do about this? I wish I could be more understanding about other people, but I’m not sure I can change. Egads, I’m *more* depressed after writing this, just thinking about it…

  79. 169

    TaZ said,

    Great article, I find that a lot of people have been very disappointing to me, and being that said is why I hate people. So you nailed it. I have given a lot of myself and gotten nothing in return. People in general suck. Especially when they have an agenda. Like using you for money, then paying for the portion in which they feel is approximately appropriate, but not making sure that the debt is completely paid in full. Then start a fight with you and or don’t want to speak with you over the rest of the money that they owe you. Because they are stupid and petty. After they just received a huge settlement of money from a death in their family. But the more you stopped giving them prior to them getting the settlement, the more that you saw that you were just being used anyway. Because people suck and are only out for themselves and could give two shits about you, or promises made to you, as long as they are able to walk on people to be able to get what they want to be where they want to be. That’s why I hate people.

  80. 170

    Sean Murphy said,

    People are shit. We drive like shit, treat each other like shit, ignore each other until its convenient. Abuse each other physically, mentally, verbally and sexualy. We exploit others for money, steal, cheat, and lie. The media is bullshit, politics are bullshit, most jobs and corporate lifestyles are bullshit. We’re being advertised to and unapologetically dumbed down by our own entertainment and distractions daily. Its easy to be a hateful person in this world full of human trash. It seems that only the most ignorant people have been breeding. If we never were here it would just be nature…..natural and balanced. Instead we spread like a plague across the planet and develop land on other cultures for vacation spots, and make paved cyst-like cities much like scabs on a cancer victim. The more globally aware we should be is only contrasted by our self serving distracting lifestyles. We keep our heads down and never make eye contact cause we’re a constantly frightened species, not home in the wild, not comfortable in society. Unable to be self relient we are crutched with convenience. Dead set on destroying everything around us. Every drive in a car, every plastic bag thrown out,everything we do in our “civilized” day includes filling the earth with garbage, using more resources than we actually need and wasting more food than any other culture. We deserve the hate. We deserve to die. We are bad. People are bad things. Only arrogance, ignorance and self righteousness would state otherwise.

  81. 175

    Pete said,

    Your ideas really resonate with me.

    Sometimes I seem to come at this from the opposite end, so to speak. I start off really, *really* liking someone–he or she seems funny, smart, etc., etc.–I think I’ve possibly found a great friend whom I get and who gets me. But as time passes I often discover the things that annoy the hell out of me. Person X *seemed* funny, but lo and behold, they tell the same six stories repeatedly, and with the same dramatic pauses, same intonation, same everything. Or Person Z, who initially seemed reasonable and considerate of others, doesn’t seem to realize it could *possibly* be annoying to listen to him yawn loudly once or twice a minute for an hour or more at a time, providing a view of his lovely, lovely tonsils.

  82. 176

    NoName said,

    ….I know for certain, I don’t like people. Maybe I am too selfish to compromise, or sympathize with people… idk… I don’t even care too much for a relationship. Only reason I wan one is for the in house poon.. wow.. I guess I do have some sort of issues. But frfr… I can’t stand ppl.. they REALLY DO LET YOU DOWN, change like Chicago weather. I only have one associate.. and I barely can stand the dumb sht he talks about… smfh, #SadREALITY should eat bullet.

  83. 177

    MJB said,

    Kind of interesting evaluation–I don’t dislike people but feel better when they’re not around. Of course, I come from a very dysfunctional and loosely-knit family. It’s OK to be independent, give your opinion, and make your own way in this crazy world. Also, let’s try to stop calling others names–it reeks of lack of vocabulary. Thanks. Good blog though.

  84. 178

    Natty said,

    Wow. I’m so impressed. I “hate people” and now I understand why… Though I hate using the word hate…
    “”While they may have many acquaintances (who they may not really “like”), they have few friends. But typically they “mate for life,” meaning that once they have a close friend they work very hard to maintain that friendship.”” This is sooo true 🙂
    Loved this article and told my friend to read too:’)

  85. 179

    minuker said,

    Are my expectations high? I just want people to be nice BUT they are not. Its probably my fault for not giveing a crap about other people in general, but I started not giving a crap after I found people to be consistantly nasty in general.
    So what do you think ?

  86. 181

    Fuuuu said,

    Will this article ever end? I hate when women take a simple explaination and create a chapter in a novel. Just get it over with already.

  87. 183

    The Master said,

    I was waiting at a traffic signal for a few moments recently. In front of me, reeking distinctly, was a vacuous slob of a man in a string vest, with the word “Tasha” tattooed large on the upper right of his back in what looked like a three-year-old’s handwriting, complete with cartoon balloons.

    On my way back, an absurdly fat man was sat on the benches outside my local supermarket, wearing a “fish and chips” tshirt and eating, fish and chips.

    Modern life is beautiful

  88. 184

    Al said,

    I hate everybody

  89. 185

    Jessie said,

    I think it’s a good thing to have high expectations for others. I’ve become a “people hater” because I’m blown away by how ignorant, uneducated, and lazy the general public can be. Expecting others to know about the world around them, work hard
    and do a good job at a given task should never be a bad thing.

    • 186

      l.h. said,

      Have to agree with this. People who work hard in life are usually punished by the stupidity and laziness of those folks that have allowed themselves to be of such.

  90. 187

    GeneO said,

    Really a great perspective! Are there any others.

  91. 188

    fuckyou said,

    what a load of bullshit, go kill yourself

  92. 189

    Stuart said,

    So your years , of giving answers like that , cause you’ve learnt all your knowledge from books , that some one is TELLING YOU , that’s why people do things ,make s your know it all , have you ever thought , there are clever , people , out there than me !!!!??? Take that as a no , simply , cause I’m replying too your comments , I wil let you into a little secret , it’s a big nasty world out there , and there’s no big book to help you live it , any way thank you for your time , and fuck em all , anwer , I don’t know you either

  93. 190

    Sam said,

    Interesting Article and comments. I guess it rings true, “You get what you give”
    Haters………Haters.👎👎👎
    Might just stick to the articles on the lovers of the world❤️.

  94. 191

    Thank you for taking the time to write this. It is very helpful in understanding a part of the human condition that has baffled me. 😊

  95. 192

    loz said,

    This blog is such a great analogy of why people ‘hate’ others! Thank you for this, it’s amazing and has made my life so much easier! I had to do a speech on misanthropy and I couldn’t find what to write about but now it makes so much sense! You are a true gem xx

  96. 193

    enormous said,

    I thought, it was really me hating people. Not expectations. But these people I live around. They have no driven motavation, education, abilities are vague. Their expectations: they expect government to hand them everything. Phones, food, roof. They couldn’t work themselves out of a paper sack, if both ends were opened.

  97. 194

    Earlyretiree said,

    I’m one of the most genuine and ‘nice’ people you’re ever likely to meet and I dislike most people. Not because I have some weird ‘physiological’ trait or way of thinking but because I’m highly evolved (spiritually). Not a weird churchie, I had a near death experience a long time ago and have never been the same since. I can see what’s real and what’s fake and most people unwittingly live an almost completely fake reality, I don’t expect most people reading this to understand. I have little in common on any level with them. Mind you, this is made much, much worse because I live in the redneck capital of the World: Darwin, Northern Territory. When I’m travelling I’m much more in tune with people (depending where I am. Europe? Definitely not. SE Asia? Very much so)

    I’m not ‘sad’ or depressed. I’m very much in tune, alive and peaceful. Most of the time. Until I see more rednecks doing stupid things to hurt others. I see them as ‘first timers’ people who have never been here before

  98. 195

    Kale said,

    Though not a misanthrope, it’s so funny how some points do relate to me. I caught myself chuckling a few times at the accuracy of details. The process is pretty much how I find like-minded people, and the general idea of high standards hits the nail on the head. Your article has helped me find the weakness in my own armor that I’ve been trying to find. For a long time, I’ve wished to understand my pessimistic and problematic outview of others, and thanks to your article, I think I have just reached a better understanding of myself. I personally don’t find it fair to have to hold another to my standards and deem them as less than me or others just because of that. I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks for your insight, my insight has broadened a little.

  99. 196

    Don said,

    Marcey on Aug 14, you nailed it for me as well. I enjoy helping others, I want to help better the would and our relationships between nationalities. I hate racism and all other types of discrimination and am particularly not proud of being from the south on account of the bigotry there. However when I see someone falling short of their possible greatness because of lack of fortitude , tenacity , or a multitude of other reasons that I consider to be pure laziness. I cannot help but wish that person and others like them would disappear from the earth in a puff of vapor. In short ingnorance pisses me off to no end. Like a sign on the interstate that says right lane closed, and people drive passed you like” I’ll get further and you’ll let me in.”I wonder to myself “Do you not realize that you and others like you are the reason traffic is moving at 2 miles an hour?” Read the sign get in line and we’ll all get further faster.

  100. 197

    Hoop said,

    Fair enough… “People haters” have high expextations to people. Furthermore, the reason behind could be their past experience on interacting with people… Those people disappointed them… As a result, they are not easily loving other people

  101. 198

    Atla said,

    I’m a people hater. Well I despise them / am disgusted by them, to be more exact. It would be below me to really “hate” an inferior crrature. Now let’s examine how high and irrational my expectations are, exactly?

    My expectations are based on one thing: rather than wiping ourselves out soon, humans, humanity should be able to live on in relative peace, prosperity, morality and constant improvement indefinitely, while NOT destroying the planet and all life around us, either. Perhaps our lives could have at least some meaning this way.

    That’s my expectation, I want us to survive and prosper, sounds pretty reasonable, right? Well, because of 95% of people this is impossible. We will all die because of them (and not in a pretty way). Thank you 95% I love you all, each and every one of you is a beautiful, special snowflake.

    I made my peace with it though. The funny thing is that once you fully realize deep down that 95% of people are disgusting trash, your life and especially your interactions with them will suddenly and dramatically IMPROVE and they’ll even like you more. Which again confirms that they are trash.

  102. 199

    minuker said,

    Hey, I have commented b4 but I keep getting emails of other people’s comments lately so I read your article again. The phraise “I have high expectations” has never really left my mind though, but unfortunately I haven’t learnt my lesson. I have more or less burned off my last friend, It is kinda sad but I have never burned anyone I wish to interact with again . I know I have issues that makes my tolerence for people low and I still can’t seem to find anyone out there who is genuine and I dunno moral, nice. I figured if somone makes you feel like crap and/or are toxic dump em, burn em before they burn you…. I need help.

  103. 200

    AnINTJ said,

    As an INTJ I don’t hate people, I dislike their presence to an extreme. However, It’s not that I expect they mind read me. In fact I expect most people to have no idea what I am thinking. This is a result of a defensive mechanism and disinterest in expressing my feelings and my resting death stare. What I dislike is how most others I have experienced appear to exist in a perpetual hypnogogic state where they simply exist without much awareness. Going against the stereotype I am not opposed to people being overly emotional. It’s that there is a lack of open mindedness I cannot ignore. It has gotten to the point that if someone asks me my opinion on a subject that’s remotely controversial or metaphysical I refuse to answer them. Everytime it turns into a catch 22 scenario. I am usually diplomatic but there seems to be no comment I can give in this scenario that isn’t seen as incendiary. My view isn’t what pushes buttons but it’s having an informed view that disagrees with whatever talking points they have memorized. Everytime it happens I can visually observe their emotional state unnraveling and the resultant breakdown. Some hold it together better than others and its purely a result of me quoting a fact or two that unravels their poorly crafted arguments. This is true for those that gravitate both right and left politically. I excel in debates and never act aggressively but can no longer find anyone that is willing to discuss a topic with an open mind. This is why I dislike most people.

  104. 201

    Roger said,

    Actually, there are as many personalities as there are people and one of psychology’s main flaws is to try and categorise everything in neat little labels that will never fully apply.
    I truly hate people. Hate them in the sense that even close friends, family, co-workers, even though I do not at all wish them harm, would not regret their passing at all. I don’t particularly hate them, I just don’t like them. I’d be happy to be the last human being on Earth, not because I like myself so much, I’m rather an asshole, but because it’d be very very quite and devoid of stupidity I could perceive.

    While I very much enjoyed the article, humans talking about how humans think when we had and still had wars breaking out every 2 minutes, wether it be on a national scale or a metric scale, for no apparent reason is ludicrous. Which is why I have always labeled psychology and psychiatrie as utter sham designed to rip money out of people’s pockets. Not that it can’t do any good mind you; it’s just that it usually DOESN’T. You replace issues with more issues, you don’t “fix” anything.
    Except with regular visits for 20 years, except when the pills are required, which are always around 200 to 400 a month, right? Depending on the size of the boat….

    Anywho, interesting article and food for thought. Ultimately wrong on many levels, but still interesting.

  105. 202

    John said,

    This is painfully accurate, coming from a person that “hates” people himself. This has given me a bit of insight as to why I’ve felt this way for quite some time now, and I believe I’m one step closer to figuring this out. Thank you.

  106. 203

    Tatia said,

    Do you really think that she/he who hates everyone, will read these huge text written with such a small letters and horrible background color? i wanted..but couldn’t

  107. 204

    Ryan Landry said,

    Socrates called it Misanthrope. Basically it means if you get fucked over long enough you dislike all people unless they can meet your expectations. Solders, criminals and anyone who works in the criminal justice system tends to be susceptible. It’s the brains way of keeping threats away from you. Unfortunately you have no or few friends you have no interest in dating or friends and most of your family become people you actively avoid. I have this problem and I would not have it any other way. The rest of the human race looks like a different species to me.

  108. 205

    Bob Trapasso said,

    I hate this world i live in and I hate society. I hate people so bad I cant barley wait to the end of work so I can just bolt all my doors shut from society. I cant even stand being next to another car in traffic knowing its another human. Probably some stupid idiot that knows nothing about the pain or hell that I no about. I can barley even go to the grocery store because when I’m in there around others I can feel my blood start to boil and my arms, neck, and face starts heating up. Last week it happen and I had to just leave my cart full of grocery’s there and run out and go home to where is my only place of peace. I hate these new generation people and they make me sick to my stomach. Its “the thing” now and “cool” to be gay and lesbian. It just burns me up. Woman don’t like nice guys they like guys that walk around with there pants hanging off there little punk ass and guys that are drug dealers.
    The justice system and police are corrupt and lie under oath to put a innocent man in prison. We got people like Trump and Hillary trying to be the president. I wish I would have been born in like 1859. The worst thing of all though is……. I’m just as much of a idiot asshole probably too. But I’m a nice guy if you respect me I will treat you the same. I try to let this hate go but it isn’t easy.

  109. 206

    Jennifer said,

    People frustrate my ability to humanize. Grow the fuck up and stop criticism everyone for everything and acting like your responsible when your not. I used to be kind now I just don’t even care anymore. Hurtful non god like people.

  110. 207

    Tessa said,

    When did common manners fall under high expectations? I hate people because so many people know what they are doing, saying, or how they are acting is wrong, and yet they choose to do it anyway! I don’t believe that common decency amongst mankind falls under high expectations either. Perhaps us “haters” have a legit reason for the way we feel about people?!

  111. 208

    DJ said,

    I hate people for a lot of different reasons. Yes, I have high expectation of people and I see how that could sometimes be unreasonable. I do believe that it is ok to make mistakes, I don’t get pissed off at that cause everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes. But some people aren’t even trying and that’s something that really bothers me, they believe that doing the bare minimum is good enough and I hate that mentality. Others are not capable of meeting my expectations and with them I try to keep my patients in check since its not there fault.

    The main reason I’m on this page right now is because of other reasons I hate people. This is really just me trying to vent so I understand if you skip over to the next post. The main reason I hate people is cause I have been getting burned and hurt by people my whole life and I’m so sick of it. Family, friends, coworkers all suck. My family was and still is very abusive and never supportive. My dad beat us bad and put us down mentally every chance he got. My mom let it happen. My bothers took after my dad. I’m the only girl and the youngest so I got out of there as early as I could. Friend throughout my life were never really much better. Not abusive but always stabbing me in the back. In my mid 20’s I met a guy who I loved and respected which is so hard to find, and he felt the same way about me. After 2 years together he got sick with a rare blood disorder and past away very abruptly. Its been almost 5 years since and I still miss him every day. The only thing that has kept me going was school and now my job. I love what I do but I hate having to deal with coworkers. No one in my direct group meets my expectations and its due to the annoying version of them not trying and excepting sub par work. I was away on business this past week with one of the members from my group and he kept trying to make me look bad in front of others including coworkers and management from other offices and in front of the client. I wanted to punch him in the face!

    I hate people and can’t trust anyone. No one is there for me. I’ve basically learned to keep myself in a bubble at this point and try very hard to avoid human interaction at all costs. But it is very lonely. 😦

  112. 210

    People are just sick mutated apes said,

    I want to start throwing people into a woodchipper. Nuff said

  113. 211

    People are just sick mutated apes said,

    People are just violent fucked in the head apes. I hope the whole fucking world burns soon

  114. 212

    Roger Keays said,

    Makes sense. Never thought about it like that.

  115. 213

    charlotte anderton said,

    As iv said in much earlier post, my child got killed. not by accident, but
    murdered by a serial killer. i had an abusive stepfather,physical to my mother and sexual abuse to me +siblings. i grew up timid,shy,fearful.
    lived with so called family friends(married couple) at age 17 who used me for the rent money
    i would pay them ,+the husband used me as his sex toy whenever he felt like it. whenever the wife was out i was his toy ~+too scared to refuse. i left there after 1 year, then i find out the husband s been abusing his teen daughter once id left! ive had workmates +,so called
    friends,aquaintances, neighbours,gossip nastily about me,report me
    to their bosses etc etc. just when u think u may have made a decent
    friend, I out they’r crap. not to mention the racists who look at you as
    if your scum on earth because im a shade darker than them.not only do i have nightmares reg my girl lying dead in a ditch for 5 weeks before being found,+the so called family friend who was targetting her from
    young age(unknown to me)~+introduced my girl to things he shouldnt
    (he didnt kill her).i cant mention killers name obviously.every day in the
    news, some1s killed ,a child abused, vulnerable are exploited for their
    money. and so called religious people can hide behind their religion
    making out they r so good, kind etc, yet sometimes they r the worst!
    I am an atheist,will always be . I wander how i carry on living ~+realise i
    must because of my other child +~my siblings. its very difficult but i must.Are there many genuine, kind ,non greedy, non violent,non religious, non judgemental people out there?

  116. 214

    Manisha said,

    This is spot on.
    Sadly, I don’t feel unreasonable in expecting others to follow the rules, think of the comfort and safety of others, etc. Like, you know, I try to do.

    So I wind up “hating everyone.”

    Good blog.

  117. 215

    scottwharriger@gmail.com said,

    Thought 1: Everyone could die and I would be fine with that. I will go last to make sure the job is completed thoroughly. If you want a job done right, do it yourself. But if I had to go first, or in the middle, then whatever.

    Thought 2: Main concept behind those thoughts are: there is no validity in pre-formed souls, fetuses, babies, children, adults, elderly, ghosts, angels or demons. Its all random hogwash with no positive result. Albeit there are life forms in a nonvisible, magnetic-vortex atmosphere in which they appear and then disappear. There are your ghosts. Unexplainable, but useless nonetheless.

    Thought 3: People really do suck. The happy ones; good for them. They still suck by virtue of being a societal-reliant consumer biped that has a silent suffering they dont know is there. Good luck when you realize you have cancer. I, on the otherhand will not be if I do get it. That is simply, typical unforseen suffering. The beginning of the uselessness of our race. Everything thereafter is decided by us and the randomness of the Universe. If there is a/many God(s), it is simply the Universe acting as one; which it does, therefore He/It is. But not in some Sunday church, bible study session/manner.

    Thought 4: I pray that someone comes to kill me or that I am taken to prison so that I can kill any and all criminals before I myself am killed. All suffering ended therein. Besides, those guys are real holes.

    Thought 5: We, by virtue of the design of our ever enveloping society, are destroying ourselves faster than choices or technology can save us. Its already too late. The Quickening is here. You there, the one having children -you are bringing new people into a really messed up situation. Oh you are a billionaire? Money doesnt last forever. Empires will crumble because history repeats itself. Your kids will still wind up in a seriously screwed up world. Nice job.

    Useless and harmful to everything living on the planet.

    That is why I hate people and by people I mean, the human race.

  118. 216

    Andrea said,

    Kinda wish we could have a people haters dating site. I could use that.

  119. 217

    Andrea said,

    Had to get off mobile to really comment to the level this kind of post inspires me to. I didn’t start off hating people. It’s grown so much over years of disappointment and unmet (but entirely reasonable if not *SHOULD have been FOREGONE*) expectations. I watch the world devolve, from back in the US to outside working as an expat. I’ve seen the downright selfish unthinking uncaring lazy bs people are content to unleash (and force upon others, if their party “wins”, which they did) and I deal with increasing levels of (undeserved by me) internalized anger – if not rage – and frustration – if not outright contempt. And I’m TIRED.

    I work in what is allegedly a “customer service” job – but really is not because I’m not your “vip spa” subservient therapist, I’m a doctor. And yet in life nobody takes care of me and nobody really ever has, LEAST of all capitalism or my country which purports to be great but abandons it’s best assets when we’re most in need, like it did to me causing me to have to take a job in the polar opposite of secular America (Saudi Arabia) and work in misery for the last 8 years. I had to give up MY business because useless wastes of space (people), who have no useful skills, have to make money. My patients paid for treatment, the insurance company/Medicare government employees got paid for having insurance company jobs and what did I get?! As the doctor who actually did the work? NOTHING. Well actually, I did get something. I got put out of business in a town l loved and letters of regret and unwillingness to help from EVERY state and federal representative and entity I appealed to for help. Now, I work in the middle east, which has put world conflict in an entirely more realistic light – i.e. everybody sucks and nobody is in the right entirely. But I also wish large swathes of different regions of the planet could be wiped off of it because deep down we KNOW it would make things better to clean the slate of the crazies (and I’ve felt this way for decades). The Walking Dead is my favorite show and I think a lot of others like it for the same reason I do – which we won’t go in to here.

    I’ve been trying to change careers for years, and yet overpopulation, and stupid “methodologies”, and too much competition, and my increasing age, and massive student loans and zero savings and and and and keep me from being able to escape the misery I’m stuck in. And as self-sufficient, considerate and kind as I am as a human, I can’t seem to pair bond with a single person who doesn’t turn out to be a cheater or liar or selfish or a just plain awful POS, so I’m alone and remain alone because people don’t meet my “expectations”. Those aren’t expectations – they’re far more than that and are reasonable justification for “hating” people.

    I search for communes that take people in (without ridiculous monetary buy-ins or donations), or remote estate caretaker positions (competently taking care of some oligarch’s 4th house) where I can live the psychologically comfortable life I’ve always tried to prepare for and yet will never be allowed to afford, away from the rat race and news/depression of the rest of the world, but can I get those positions either? Nope, can’t find those either. Can’t buy myself a cottage in the forest of northern BC to grow my own food and contemplate my navel and the northern lights and ignore the unrelenting BS of humanity, because the process of getting a visa, paying to move, taxes, not to mention the cost of a home (something I’ll never be privileged to have) is prohibitive.

    Why? Because of PEOPLE. 8 BILLION of them. 8 Billion people and yet we can’t see our way clear to make sure each of the first 4 billion had decent existences… food and shelter… first? So I’m stuck looking at jobs lists that just make me feel miserable and day dreaming about winning the lottery so I can run away and it’s been 12 YEARS since the last time I dated or even thought it possible to find love. In other words STUCK. Doing “customer service” for people who don’t appreciate it, for a boss who uses MBA textbooks to make life miserable for the peons, in a region that feels like prison. Why? Because of PEOPLE.

    Every person on the planet could disappear overnight and virtually everything worthwhile and interesting would still be here. And at least we could take a vacation, see the Louvre, in peace instead of in a scrum.

    • 218

      curl said,

      You want to wipe out chunks of the world because the planet would be better without them? And let me guess, these parts of the world aren’t the parts where your family and “friends” live. You moved to Saudi Arabia because you’re chasing money, like a true American, you’re obsessed with guns and violence and money. How about opening yourself up to different people and worlds and use your practise for some good. Join doctors without borders and give something back. Because the world doesn’t owe you anything. And every single person on this planet, regardless of age, gender, race, income, or skill level has the right to live, love, care and be cared for, and feel safe. Yeah hippie love ✌ suggestions – move to Canada!

      • 219

        Andrea said,

        Okay ass. You got LITERALLY everything you stated and ALL your ASSumpions about me wrong. Get bent. I don’t have time to enlighten you right now. Off to do volunteer work. Enjoy life in your mothers basement.

  120. 220

    dontworryaboutit said,

    Nah I just hate people.

  121. 221

    dontworryaboutit said,

    Nah I just hate people. I don’t hate someone just because they don’t reach my expectations. That’s so stupid. I’m just anti social and prefer to be left alone.

  122. 222

    whocares said,

    You’re basically just taking a phrase used by people when angry and blowing it out of proportion. There is no spot on psychology behind a phrase. Obviously when someone says they “hate people” they don’t mean everyone including their mother. It’s easy to hate people. Just look at all the horrible things humans have done. What is the point of this article?

    • 223

      lizwright said,

      The point of this article was to flesh out an idea I had as a psychologist as to why people feel they hate others.
      Obviously.

    • 225

      Josh said,

      Your user name is “who cares” .. How about you shut the fuck up. Her article is incredibly helpful and thoughtful and shows a human struggling but willing to reach beyond herself to find some good and healing in a struggle that is very real for some people, myself included; And one to which YOU obviously contribute. So, If knowing that you are the reason people haters hate people isn’t good a good enough reason for you “whocares” to kindly piss off, then maybe we could connect and I could show you what I mean when I say i despise you, your mother, and your learned behavior. I hate people who troll and prey on beauty. I can’t tell if you need bitch slapped or if you need a hug. Go cry somewhere else.

  123. 226

    Josh Payne said,

    Good work. Your willingness to consider this long and hard is a gift to the rest of us. Thank you.

  124. 227

    Rupanshi Dhruv said,

    I too hate people. Sometimes I think they’re just dumb. Always laughing like crazy and speak loudly. Bursts my ears.

  125. 228

    Amazing article. I connect with this quite a bit. Especially the part where people haters can sense other people’s needs and expect them to know what a people hater is feeling. I appreciate the “This is” statement as well. I feel that I’m wrong so often because of my lack of need for people. What o want to do for others is never accepted. Nobody wants actual help. I don’t understand that. I would take help if it were offered to me. I would be very thankful too. Not just because I have to be but because I can appreciate another person’s care for me. And you’re right about people haters creating their own depression and everything. I wish I understood that better myself.

  126. 229

    Jalisa Cottman said,

    I hate people sometimes, because I’m shy and I don’t like being around lots of people,its uncomfortable but I guess I sound like a mean person but people think I’m a nice person why because I haven’t told them how I feel and my opinions and kept to myself. But I been told I have to talk to people because its part of working and having a job, but I would love the things others do in their lives and I would love my own if people didn’t rely on my voice. Having guy friends is hard they all want to make love to me I hate people that want to get that close to me. My pride is my sin is what keeps others away. I love myself too much,I fear people will hurt me and learn about me.

  127. 230

    curl said,

    Snob!

  128. 231

    Stef said,

    Wow this was written about me – completely

  129. 232

    Troy said,

    Thank you for this….It’s a humble struggle.

  130. 233

    Anthony said,

    Very nicely written and explained. I have often said “I hate most humans” and realize after reading your article it’s not that I “hate” them, it’s that their existence is irrelevant so no sense in even acknowledging them. Thank you!

    • 234

      Anthony said,

      My apologies if that reads like I’m being a smart-ass. Not my intentions.
      Your article was well written and worded in a manner which helped me analyze certain aspects of thought concerning why it is I actually do not like, or have use for, the majority of humanity
      Thank you for taking the time to offer your opinions and ideas.

  131. 235

    Randy Smith said,

    I don’t agree. I hate people because they intentionally hurt you, lie to you, and will sooner stab you in the back than be upfront. I especially hate people who ask for your phone number and never call you. Thathe makes me want to find the prick and smash them in the face . Sorry for being brutally honest.

  132. 236

    Sonya said,

    That puts a unique light on the topic. Thanks! My dad had high, unrealistic expectations of others, kids included. He somehow conveyed to us that kids were dumb till about 12 yrs old. But, when my sibling had kids, it was clear they were far from ‘dumb’. At 3, they were smart, witty, and funny.

    I’ve had plenty of negative experiences with the human race, that’s for sure. Every day I get on the road, my expectations are crushed, as people, by their selfish driving habits convey, “Your life means nothing to me.” A lady just bashed my car with her car door and acted quite smug about it. ??? But, maybe her parents never conveyed the golden rule to respect others property? Maybe she’s visiting from a state that doesn’t care if their cars look like junk?

    I just left a job where people pressured me to lie, where I was treated like a non-person, thrown under the bus, and raked over the coals. I gave 100%, working my butt off, doing the job of 2 employees. But, that’s their problem. They’re the ninnies. Not me. But, it sure has done a number on my self esteem. And my trust in others and myself is lower than ever. But, we all carry some sort of baggage. Right? Some sort of wound. If I can keep that in mind, maybe I won’t be so let down?

  133. 237

    Kendall J. said,

    Wow. Pretty much all these comments are a joke. Wow. Just wow. No faith in humanity. Bunch of crazy people! Someone actually made a comment that said “they could care less if we were all shot and thrown in a ditch” what a nut job! Good lord! God bless all. We need to all quit being dicks k? K then buh bye…..👋

  134. 238

    Billy said,

    I hate people because I’ve been in the customer service industry for over a decade. Take a look at yelp sometime. Most people, especially when they’re behind a computer, are the absolute worst. I’ll take living on a farm with animals and minimal human contact any day.

  135. 239

    The accuracy in this post 😀 So relatable. Thank you for writing this.

  136. 240

    From what I read in the comments, there are 2 types of people haters. The one described by the author is a rare kind. These are not assholes who get a kick out of coming up with the most clever cynical sarcastic comment. These are the top-of-the class level people who hold careers as doctors or at least have to potential to but different life circumstances lead people in different directions. Then there is the second type of hater. These are the people that I call Aholes. Those are the types of people that make the high standard people haters hate people in the first place. Aholes make life very difficult for people of high intellect with high standards. Alot of Aholes made comments here, and they’re easy to spot. They are the reason that we become people haters. We don’t want to be around them, see them, smell them, hear anything that they want to say, or be the pun of their next sarcastic comment… In fact, if you’re one who gets your kicks out of being cynical, don’t even call yourself a people hater, just call yourself an Ahole. You hate people probably because of some deep rooted psychologically damaging stuff that happened in your youth. Whereas, those of us with high standards hate people because of having to deal with people like you. There is a very distinct difference. Anyone on this post who made some sort of comment to belittle another person and it was not in self-defense, is a straight-up asshole, not to be confused with a high-standard people-hater.

    • 241

      Andrea said,

      I think it’s admirable that you’re okay with being open about also being the second type. I mean, I totally disagree with the arbitrary distinction that sound like a reflexive reaction to not liking something you read above, but at least you own it. Self awareness is something the hated lack.

      • 242

        Live, Love, Laugh, and Learn. Not sure where your cynicism is coming from. But I will keep being the beacon of light that I’ve always been and I’ll keep praying for people like you.

      • 243

        Andrea said,

        With respect…your obvious need to glorify yourself and your mind and your behaviors, while tearing down others, (and then to follow it up with backhandedly tearing them down again in speaking to someone else) show the sensibilities of a narcissist. You might not like the sarcastic or the cynical, but those humans and their experiences and perceptions are JUST as valid as you and yours. You claim to be loving and light filled, but what you’ve posted each time has been filled with passive aggressive slaps at anyone you need to be inferior to how you see yourself. No doubt we would like each other as people, because we all say/do things online that we’d never do/as in person (and I know I’m likeable and more intelligent than average, too 😉) but definitely wouldn’t choose your “light” for my tribe based on these comments. Have fun looking for others to tear down.

  137. 244

    ydc4m4eva said,

    I found myself googling topics related to ‘Hating/Disliking People’ because I constantly find myself chanting I ‘hate’ people but my actions while in a situation with people is totally opposite than that thought that comes to mind all too often, Which makes it that more complex in my mind especially since I don’t like to categorize myself as ‘Anti-Social’ & Do find appreciation for others from afar. But Your blog hit it right on the nail!!!! Thanks, I don’t feel that bad for feeling like I generally hate people anymore,lol.

  138. 245

    Heather said,

    I feel like this is me. I feel so hurt, disappointed by, and betrayed by so many people right now. I pour myself out just to show kindness and give others some happiness, and no one cares. They still treat me and everyone else like shit and fight over stupid, meaningless things. It makes me sick and hurt and sad. I’ve become a lot more cautious about people in the last few years. Most of them suck. 😦

  139. 246

    Zoe said,

    Wow. I just googled ‘why do I hate people?’ Reading this has unsettled me a bit. True

  140. 247

    Guy said,

    Your introduction sucked and sucked life out of me reading it

  141. 249

    Athea MarcosAmir said,

    I find it sad and disturbing that people cannot voice their minority opinions without being spewed with a lot of venom. No wonder we have wars, when one can’t say s/he hates people, or animals, or babies without someone getting together a lynching mob. Personally, I despise animals. I don’t hurt them and probably wouldn’t hurt them even if I weren’t frightened of being within a mile of one of them. Most of my animal-loving friends understand this about me, but occasionally I run into someone who I can tell would like to shoot me because I can’t bear even to think about being touched by an animal. To me they represent chaos and filth, both of which are anathema to me. A little tolerance for differences would be refreshing.

  142. 250

    jayjay smith said,

    Interesting read. Are all humans social creatures? Or are there some who are made to live solitary lives? I often wonder about this myself because my experience I did the social thing out of obligation and not because I enjoyed it. In truth, I like being alone. I come to know this more and more about myself and have pulled away from all but 1 person, who is my child. I get no joy or satisfaction from having friends or romantic relations. I got married not out of love but because that is what we are suppose to do, or rather the culture/society I was raise around. Duty dictated my life. I had friends because people saw I didn’t really have any and so to keep those “fixers” away, I acquired a few friends. I wasn’t a good friend for sure! I didn’t care about their personal lives at all. If the could engage in an intellectual conversation then I was ok. How’s weather kinda person, I am. I don’t dig deep and there isn’t much deepness in me. I am simple and enjoy doing things that require only me. I find joy in a lot of things like gardening, puzzles, reading, etc. I work from home as well. My only in-person interaction is with my child. Which I won’t get into because the backlash is not something I wish to set off. I don’t do social media, don’t have tv, and my cell phone has a single contact, and I love my life. Are my expectations of people to high? No, actually I expect very little of my fellow humanoids. I just wish that others could see someone who is happy all alone and not make such a big deal about it. I no longer pacify those who want to try and get me to go to a party, movie, or out to eat. I finally have the freedom to say, “No, thank you” and not feel obligated. I quickly let others know that if they are seeking a relationship with me that it just isn’t going to happen. Rude? Maybe, but I think it’s rude to expect others to be something they are not. Just my two sense 🙂

  143. 251

    rina said,

    no, i don’t expect much from people. i just don’t understand people and hate their pretentiousness, why blare music when you know others hear it, but have the nerve to get pissed when they blare music right back? why leave dogs on balconies just to have them bark at everything and piss on the people below? why do some have rights when others don’t yet complain still? why torture animals for pleasure? why kill or harrass anyone in this day and age? why do stupid crap like this knowing the negative attention you stir up? because people are selfish, stupid, and bored. and i cant stand the excuses made for such disrespectful inhumane behavior, and its getting worse.

  144. 252

    Keana said,

    I really think you nailed it…. In a people hater….😒 and I’m always miserable..

  145. 253

    Blake said,

    okay so now what?

  146. 254

    Stephie said,

    Hello fellow people hater! Can I be your friend? ;-> Great note!

  147. 255

    Max said,

    I have attempted to write this intro 100 times, as I’m so into this, I’m almost shaking. (Yes,I have a shrink. In Australia, we call them other names)
    I don’t know the answer, but here goes……I’m to honest to a fault and of course, I expect everyone else to follow my lead. I can’t help it, it is what I am.
    So, I am a people hater because they “ALL” let me down.
    Just tonight, I receive an answer to a text from a local business that I had spoken to face to face about my delivery earlier in the week and I booked it . Tonight they tell me:” I have a big job on so can you move your job till next week”?
    I replied “No” and now I want to rip the arsehole a new one, he won’t respond, I know this because this is human behaviour in Australia where business’s somehow survive on treating their customers like shit????????
    My family think that I cause all of my own shit, due to knowing that I will be let down.
    My darling wife of 35+years is a positive thinker (Pisces) and provides excuses for these “shits” 24/7.
    Obviously I don’t. Might have something to with who I am (Scorpio)
    Anyway, I’m in need of help because all I want to do is teach these arseholes a lesson so the world will be a better place.
    Or maybe, (i know can’t start a sentence with or) annihilate these un-evolved humans who, with the 4-6% of DNA that belongs to the Neanderthals.
    Look it up, it may just explain why these arseholes exist……….Lols

    • 256

      Andrea said,

      I feel your pain. I’m also going to assume that, like me maybe, you wouldn’t actually try (and don’t plan) to anhiliate anyone, but it’s psychologically relieving to think about a world without these *behaviors*. I have a whole novel and separate movie plot in my head about acting on them, but still, fiction (because I’m not insane). Is that right? I try not to be a “diagnosable” injustice collector, but the world makes it difficult not to hold on to grudges based on repeated (& behaviorally so wrong and unnecessary) behaviors. I’m happy to hear you’ve been married for so long. I hope it means she knows you and knows the depths of your feelings but doesn’t fear or judge them. I find if I say anything even remotely not rainbows and butterflies, people are QUICK to judge by many who ultimately realize they agree with me, just don’t like hearing it out loud (or don’t like me…). Check this out and maybe it will give some insight? https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_sapolsky_the_biology_of_our_best_and_worst_selves?utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=daily&utm_medium=email&utm_content=button__2017-05-09

  148. 257

    Amaya said,

    I am a ” people hater ” which might seem hard to believe because I’m 15 years old but you can say I’ve had many experiences in my life with people… I could never really understand why I am this way but your article helped me to put the missing pieces together in the puzzle. Thank you

  149. 258

    runi said,

    You’re wrong. Very wrong. We hate people because we have low expectations and they don’t even meet them. We hate people because they abuse their children, they abuse animals, they fight wars, the fight in general, they divorce at a 50% rate, they are more selfish than they are kind. We know that everyone doesn’t do every evil one of these things all the time, but we know that we are all capable of it, and we don’t know when the next person we see is going to do something as simple as bully us, or as serious as cut our heads off. We don’t live in an isolated bubble where we only see those people who are insulated. We see everything that is happening and realize that that people are not trustworthy in general, and some are out right cruel. So when we say we hate people, we mean we hate the mean, evil, selfishness that is evident in some, and hidden, but potential in others. We are not so petty that we hate people because they have a different opinion about what color carpet to put down. We hate people because there ARE people who would kill each other over what color carpet to put down.

  150. 260

    Leonardo said,

    Do you think you hate people? I`ll show you what hating people really means: I lead a team of scientists. I never go out with them; I never ever co fraternize with them in any way. I started making a lot of money a few years ago because I am a valuable nerd and I don`t care what my co-workers think about me. I`m very admired in my job, I treat everyone well and everyone at least pretend that they respect me. I never had a girlfriend and never will, because I don`t like talking to people. My memory is too good and I remember every single BS they say, forever. For me, a date is an experience that I have with a girl that makes me appreciate not having a girlfriend, and being alone instead. After 100% of my dates I went home feeling like I could have done something way more productive or fun with my evening. I`m male 30, tall, more or less good looking and athletic. All my hobbies are related to studies, I have to give my brain lots of work all the time, even while I`m running in the treadmill, or I get depressed. Some women fell in love with me, but they talk too much and I`m not interested in listening, even if I love them back I get extremely bored and they notice that I start yawning. Even dancing makes me deeply depressed, I have to stop immediately. I only had a second date with a few women all my life, and never a third one, I think. I never talk about my personal life with my colleagues or anyone else, ever. Obviously I don`t have friends. According to some “reddit” forums and other creepy forums I checked, in a scale from one to ten, I`m roughly a 4 or a 5, in terms of hating people, being a 6 a nice person in the outside that is truly a psychopath that manipulates and destroys people in his workplace, his family and even his friends, being a false friend himself. A 7 is a violent robber, an 8 is a rapist, a pedophile or a wife/girlfriend beater/abuser, 9 is Freddy Krugger or a suicide bomber, and a 10 is a politician that starts a war to sell more guns (rings a bell?). I got rid of quite a few psychos in my work, because I am trained to spot and destroy them. So, I do consider myself somewhat a people hatter, but not much, mostly I just don`t want to be around people. By the way, I made an online test, and I had a very low score on “Social Anxiety Disorder”, I`m used to give speeches to large audiences, so that`d not my problem. People just bore me to death. I wish I didn`t fall in love from time to time. I was even chased down by an old crush from high school last December, it was a disaster exactly because at first we melted down in each other`s arms but I can`t finish what I start, I`m such a horrible companion to anyone. Forget it.

    • 261

      Kent said,

      Leonardo, wow, that’s quite a ‘speech’. I think you still have what it takes to socialize if you can write this. I understand what you are talking about Kemosabe. I think I’m just plain old terrified of people and tend to keep my distance. I married twice, both mistakes. Never again! Rather work my little research projects.

  151. 262

    Cindy Wright said,

    Awesome!! Your acticle challenged me to think about how I feel towards most peeps, and very awakening. Thank you 😊

  152. 263

    Krissy said,

    You’re probably right.
    But for me, I just find other humans to exhausting to put up with.
    If I wasn’t so passionate about not starving to death, I’d probably never leave my house.
    In my mind, your a bunch of assholes just waiting to take whatever worthless problem you have out on me.
    And every person that dose, i think about your death and just wish it would come sooner.
    Because if a growin person is that pathetic they don’t really deserve to be breathing.

    But don’t worry I would never physically hurt some one.
    I might snap one day and tell the pice of shit what they can do. But that would be it.

    • 264

      Kent said,

      You’re funny, but pretty dark. Me? I love life in general, every day is a new adventure, people or no people. Horses and dogs give me much enjoyment and have no expectations…except maybe a snack.

  153. 265

    Mr. Auldjo said,

    I don’t know that expectations are too high. Not electing a vile moron as president would have been enough for me not to hate people. But…

  154. 266

    Broadway said,

    Good thoughts, Liz. However, you missed a very important angle.
    Some of us are just cranky bstards.

  155. 268

    'bateme said,

    I hate people, but I mean them no harm. I often wish that everyone would go away, or, because that is an unreasonable expectation, that I could somehow escape from them. It isn’t surprising. I grew up 80 miles of dirt road away from the nearest po’ldunk town. I’m really not comfortable being around people all the time because I’m not accustomed to it. Even a croud full of like-minded people can become tedius. There are only a few people – a) and our insipid society sigh in relief that the blunder has saved them from having to understand what was actually MEANT or the necessity of articulating an intelligent response. I hate people for allowing our varied and beautiful cultures and heritage to be shaken like an anti farm in the hands of a kid that needs his ass kicked. Why!? Why does everyone want to watch what they say until nothing is said at all??
    WHY is everyone so concerned with having othe) rs accept them for who they are? Are you so afraid of having someone challenge your perspective? Why? Are you afraid they’ll convince you to see past your own carefully labeled identity? Afraid that if you get challenged to the very core of your perception you might have to change? But isn’t it better to be told that you have shit on your face and should wash it off? Or maybe you think everyone else should just pretend they don’t notice the shit, or if they do notice they damn well better call it feces and say it smells like roses. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t care! If I see something that I consider wrong about you I’ll mention it if I care, or in defense of someone helpless. And feel free to tell me to get bent if you don’t like it! Hell, if you fight back intelligently, without getting personalities into it (your idea is dumb vs. You stink arguments) you might change my mind unstead, or at least won’t look so pathetic as you do with your sameness and fear of being hated. Anti- hate rhetoric in this generation and time is just the battle cry of people who are to lazy and boring and childish that they’d rather just parrot the trendy opinions. I think that kind of apathy is disgustingand lazy aand far more damaging to society than people can imagine! Once you’re trained to go with the flow that’s what you’lldo no matter where it leads . And I wind up having to hear people talk abt partial – birth abortions like something that doesn’t matter! You really want to live in a society in which not only your actions but even your thought are being controlled? I hate people! Deal with it! And the first person that can make me change my opinion will have my respect! It would be nice to hear a little barking or even purring to break the monotony of all the baaaaa. as MY people, obviously – who do not cause me to feel a growing degree of anxiety. The list of people who actually make me feel MORE comfortable when they’re around is even shorter – well honestly only my husband makes that list!
    But apart from the proximital anxiety, I also just really, really hate people! I hate people when I see that the local district court docket has at least nine child molesters in one afternoon session. I hate people when the light has been green for over five seconds and the car ahead hasn’t moved yet. Not that the five seconds delay will matter to my commute, but the idea of everyone else being at the mercy of just one pokey little old lady is just infuriating to me! I hate people when I have nobody at all to share my love of black& white movies with that isn’t a hipster prickly who calls it a “film” and is more interested in snapchatting about it than actually watching Candace get mindf***ed by Charles in Gaslight. I hate people when I watch that video of the season turtle with a straw in its nose, or when wild fires get so intense and so destructive because the farmers who used to burn out the underbrush every year have been pushed out by ignorant people in overstepping agencies decided it was better for the environment which causes the underbrush to get very dense and thick that it catches the large trees on fire too, firefighters then lose their lives trying to put out hopeless fires, the fires burn everything, and the deadline forest turns to desert.
    I have strong opinions and very high expectation. I dislike most people but I also adore them. the reasons are directly linked to my nurture – spawned expectations, but they might surprise you. I don’t care if we agree. I don’t mind if we fight. But I’m not doing either with you if you have no opinion, if you have no standards, and no desire to explore with me. I personally love meeting people who disagree or think on a different level.
    I really hate people when everything is hear on the news, social media, school, books, parties is justice regurgitated pulp of some else’s opinion and clearly designed to show an understanding or proficiency of the cult culture of acceptance while sultaneously – either intentionally or ignorantly – missing the point of every single thing that is said. Someone stumbles over their words (or worse uses one of the buzz words trending at the momentnt that is with the same level of about the) not leave r that Ivou

    • 269

      Andrea said,

      I feel for you. Don’t agree with some of it – not sure but think perhaps we’re on different pages politically – but 100000% agree with the “whys” of your feelings about people.

      By this person, at least, you’re respected & loved for your obvious awareness and perspective.

  156. 270

    Lucy Pippin said,

    “Wary” not “weary”

    –hater of bad grammar

  157. 271

    Anonymous said,

    I was severely bullied as a kid, and adults also enjoy “messing” with me. No matter how I am, they see a target and pounce.
    Fuck them.

  158. 272

    Hema said,

    I hate people
    But maybe I hate most people
    Congrats you are so right. I find most people annoying and often perceive them as hindrance.
    Please do me a favor. Can you just tell me how to avoid such people? I mean its such a huge problem for me when they start thinking that they maybe close to me
    Thanks


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